'Haxan' & 'Rosemary's Baby'

So, are witches real?

On one hand, you'd think I would know a witch. Like a witch from Hogwarts. By the way, in "The Goblet of Fire," Hogwarts has the British Isles witches. And the French girl's school visits along with the school of boys from Eastern Europe.

Where is the American school? African? Asian? South American? I would think the American delegation would've given the French and British a good run for their money.

However, I digress.

At some point, if witches were indeed real, I would have met one. I knew some Wiccans in college, but to my knowledge they're not witches. Not even close.

The thing is, there are so many references in various pieces of pop cultures, at some point it becomes feasible in my brain. I don't doubt witches don't exist, I just don't know any and at 29 years old, you'd think I would have.

"Rosemary's Baby" is creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppyyyyyyy.

'White Heat'

I've been fascinated with a certain archetype in film, TV and books, but I've never been able to define it.

I think of James Cagney's characters from "Public Enemy" and "White Heat." Or Tony Soprano, Joe Pesci's "Tommy" from Goodfellas.

Unironically, "White Heat" was a common pop culture reference on HBO's "The Sopranos," as it was referred to as Tony's favorite film. Appropriate since Cagney's character and Soprano had a lot of similarities including the nutty mother and the scheming partners in crime.

In a biography of music producer Phil Spector, author Mick Brown quoted critic Kenneth Tynan in regards to a type of person that fits this description: The Imposer.

Tynan defines these individuals as "One about whom one worriesw whether his repsone to one's next remark will be a smile or snarl."

Perfect.

I watch these films and TV shows just waiting for them to explode. Their fuses are perpetually lit and ready to blow due to years of always looking for the bullet in the back of the head or generally being crapped on their entire lives.

Poor Cagney. So old and fat at this point. Almost looks like a different person than the energetic and happy George Cohan from "Yankee Doodle Dandy," filmed just seven years earlier.

'The Seventh Seal'

A mesmerizing film. Haunting and memorable. I can't find any better adjectives for a film.

Ingmar Bergman is a superior director and storyteller. I really can't say enough about this film. It's so good that I'm apt to purchase it at some point.

I would if I wasn't so scared to death of death. It's probably my biggest insecurity and I really can't imagine getting over it any time soon.

Often, while trying to sleep, I lay in the dark and think about death, eternity and it drives me nuts. Really. If I'm in a asylum in 20 years, that's why. I try to wrap my small brain around the idea of God, eternity and death (which could happen at any moment and it's so unfair that life should end just whenever). It's really maddening. I can't explain it. I don't know why I do it. I grew up learning about God and eternity, but the biggest question I ever had was why dinosaurs weren't included in the Bible. A question that was never properly explained, still, it didn't shake my faith.

Damn Bergman for that haunting shot, hundreds of yards away, of the company doing "death's dance."

Anyway, I might not buy "The Seventh Seal" after all.

'Yankee Doodle Dandy'

I like that the real George Cohan -- portrayed by James Cagney -- watched the film and called it a good movie, but asked who it was about.

That's what drives me crazy about modern "historical" films like the Disney films that try to replicate some experience of some apparently fantastic person that overcame something. Everything based on a true story of course.

It's the "based" that skews everything. That basically tells me that writers got a hold of someone's story and wrote some dramatic version in order to sell tickets and DVDs.

"Yankee Doodle Dandy" is actually a really good film no matter if writers and directors change things to make it something that it isn't.

Cagney alone is worth the price of admission. What a fucking talent. Known as the rough criminal gangster, the guy was a terrific dancer and a sparkling personality.

'Umberto D'

A cute little movie. If you want to delve into modern European film, "Umberto D" is a great place to start.

It's short and extremely easy to sink your teeth into. Very well acted, an accessible story and a cute dog.

Watch "Umberto D" and then attack Fellini, Bergman, Lang and Godard.

'Yi Yi'

This movie is three long hours and I frankly don't remember a minutes. I typically don't mind subtitles. I actually enjoy them more than not.

However, three hours of subtitles with a going-nowhere plot, inane conversations and a bunch of characters that do not require any buy-in nor do they deserve any real investment from the viewer.

If I was Taiwanese, this would probably be my "Godfather."

'All Quiet on the Western Front'

Can you believe we used to fight wars like that? That was just a little under 100 years ago. In a civilized land.

Horses? Clubs? Bayonets? Trenches?

How ineffective and inefficient!

Not that war today is anymore awesome and not that wars still aren't waged with such barbaric weapons as gas, chemicals, machetes and land mines. They are. What movies like this just reinforce time and again -- no matter what century -- is war, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

Speaking of the trenches, how were they dug? Was war enacted and people from that country went as far east as they could and started digging? If they had used their resources for, say, fighting instead of digging trenches, would we look at this war differently?

And how do you remain a head of state during this travesty and think, "Hey! I think things are going pretty well!"? Clueless.