'The Band Wagon'

This movie represents the whole genre of American musicals that drive me crazy in a way. I can’t put my finger on it and to explain my disdain would drive me crazy and, foremost, wouldn’t make any sense. 

Being quite younger and living in a world where the sheen of Hollywood was replaced with cynicism and jaded opinions of the stars that make films, I don’t understand movies of the 1950s. Knowing my mother, I do imagine it being a lot more “magical” for viewers. Films were star driven. Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Bob Hope and any other star of the era were well aware that people were spending hard-earned cash to watch their dopey movie. Therefore, you often saw thin plotlines broken up by unique dance routines and clever songs. 

The stars are not emoting for the sake of portraying a character because nine times out of 10 they were simply portraying some version of themselves. 

The Band Wagon is the perfect example. Astaire’s “Tony Martin” is a facsimile of himself: An aging star coming to grips with his own fading star. He’s portraying himself. Chances are, however, Astaire never actually acted like that. I wonder if he ever took time by himself and fully realized what this role actually said about himself? 

Astaire and other stars of his ilk and era were not idiots. They played the hopeless romantic or the star-crossed entertainer because that’s what people went to the movies. They wanted Astaire’s personal life to be like that of Tony Martin’s because it’s too disturbing to see someone we adored to crash in flames. Unlike the modern times. 

The Band Wagon is considered one of the greatest American musicals along with Singin’ in the Rain. Naturally, both co-star Cyd Charisse. And underrated accomplishment, I think, both being released within a year of each other. 

'The Young Girls Of Rochefort'

Talk about whimsical. This takes the cake.

A pair of super cute, supremely talented sisters in Rochefort search for love and a way out of the provincial life in their seaside town. Bill and Etienne are the charming guys traveling with the fair that's in town.

The sisters' mother owns a little, quiant bar near the town square. There's the lovelorn man that owns the music store. There's the American song and dance man who falls in love with one of the sisters.

It's as vibrant, colorful and fun as the music. It's an insanely talented cast. Of course, the superb Gene Kelly plays the American. Catherine Deneuve plays one of the sisters. She'd later go to star in Repulsion, Belle Du Jour and The Last Metro. Her sister, Françoise Dorléac, portrays Deneuve's on-screen sister. Dorléac would die the real of this film's release in a car accident. She was 25.

Grover Dale played Snowboy in the original cast of The West Side Story. He also had an affair with Anthony Perkins. George Chakiris also appeared in The West Side Story as Riff in the stage and as Bernardo on the big screen.

It might not be the best film ever. However, it is probably by far one of the prettiest films on this list. It is candy for the eyes.

'The Sound Of Music'

I'm not going to beat around the bush here: The Sound of Music is one of my favorite films of all time and I can't imagine a time when I will not want to see it.

It not only has Nazis and a very intelligent take on nationalism and the ideological tug of war that was taking place all over Europe as the line was being drawn in the sand, but it also had insanely good music.

I would say that of all the musicals to pass through the genre, it probably has the best music and lyrics of them all. For my money, they're all superbly done. There's not one that gets fast forwarded when it comes on: The benchmark for a good musical tune.

I find some things very interesting about this film, the behind-the-scenes garbage. That Christopher Plummer doesn't like the film. That Gretl gained so much weight that Plummer requested a body double to carry in the final scene.

Another fact is that the real Von Trapps were upset by the way their father was portrayed. In real life, I guess he was a sweet guy. In the film, he's depicted as a law-and-order Naval captain, who didn't take any crap from his kids. After watching it 1,000 times, I disagree a little with the assertion that the Captain was strict.

There's a sort of jagged humor at the beginning when Maria comes to the house and dresses him down for the whistles. Like the Captain had met his match -- both personally and, in the end, romantically.

I think he's actually a lot more soft hearted than you think and this explains why he quickly changes his tune once he hears his children singing.

As a personal anecdote: I dated this girl in college and I became quite familiar with her family, including her aunt, who was perpetually single despite being A) insatiably cool; B) super cute; and C) in her late-30s.

Anyway, this aunt was a bit of a pop culture nut and she knew I adored this film. She called me the Goatherd Boy.

'Grease'

Grease -- maybe unlike any other piece of gobbledygook in history -- is the most polarizing piece of art in history.

People don't like Grease. They either love it or absolutely hate it. There's no in between and the line can typically be drawn down gender lines. Chicks dig it, dudes don't.

Until right now, I had not seen Grease in its entirety. There are some scenes and songs that I'd never, ever seen. I think I see some very simple issues with the film that turn guys off.

Time
The film begins at the beginning of the school year. Sandy is the new girl, an Australian import, and she is befriended by the Pink Ladies, who are associated by reputation and attitude to the T-Birds. Their leader is Danny Zuko, Sandy's love interest over the summer. All of the Pink Ladies and T-Birds are seniors. Over the next 100 minutes things happen. None of what happens is school. There is a night at the drive-in. The dance. Danny trying out sports. A date night. The T-Birds in the big drag race. At the end of the movie, the school year is over. It's the end-of-the-year carnival and the gang's all together.

Problem is, guys need some semblance of time. Guys need Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas break, New Years Day, Valentines and Spring Break. Basically, Grease fits seven months of school into 100 minutes. There is no autumn, winter or spring. The summer heat never dissipated. A get an acceleration of time, but what happens on all the other days? Surely there are other adventures taking place. There is school. There are romances. There are break-ups and hook-ups. There is a lot more we're missing than what we're getting ...

Songs
... because all we do is listen to songs. Good God Almighty! There are a ton of songs in this movie. I thought it was a handful. It feels there are a ton more songs in Grease than there are in other musicals. On top of that, most songs have no relevance. Summer Lovin' is the best in terms of being an actual song and serving as a plot device: We learn what Sandy and Danny did over the summer, how they feel about each other and their perceptions versus how they want to look in front of their friends. "Hopelessly Devoted To You" is also important. We learn how Sandy feels. Otherwise, the other songs are fodder. They focus on unimportant characters or conflicts that never come to a head.

Conflict
Speaking of, there is no conflict. I get that this film is fun and that its a musical, but all musicals have conflict. Some heavier than others, but there's conflict. Grease fails in this department. It did try. Frenchie quitting high school to then fail at beauty school was a huge issue. However, they failed to develop the conflict and the character herself. Instead, they opted for a campy guest star by Frankie Avalon. The second conflict was Rizzo's near-pregnancy. It turned out to be a false alarm, but why? Being pregnant in high school out of wedlock is no laughing, easy matter. However, the film was not made in 1959; it's just set in 1959. It was a perfect opportunity to take the crystal vase and smash it into the wall. The director and writers decided to not rock the boat.

The Actuality Of Badness
At their worst, the protagonists in the film are good kids. The T-Birds are not violent. None of them do drugs. Most just like to have sex. That doesn't make you bad, edgy or antiestablishment. It makes you dumb. There is no fights, death or some overriding despair. The students of Rydell High School are spoiled suburbanites, many of whom will go to college or enter a career. They will not be strung out on heroin on Skid Row. They will not be prostitutes or in jail. Instead, they'll be normal. I'm not saying The Westside Story is a benchmark for male film enjoyment, but it was edgy, I don't care how those boys dance. The Sharks and Jets are racists. They want to kill each other and run each other out of the neighborhood. They wind up actually killing each other. None of those kids have much of a future. They do drugs and fight. The T-Birds would have been killed by the Sharks.

'Carmen Jones'

So, Carmen Jones was just a slut, right?

Not that people should go around killing people, but this film further confirms my ascertation that guys will always succomb to and be ruined by the sexual aggressive woman. It's why we tip more if a girl flirts with us at a restaurant. We're single-minded animals. Sue me.

Significant for an all-black cast to be so popular in 1954. Quite remarkable actually. I doubt this film did well in Alabama.

'Chicago'

I can't imagine someone repulsing me as much as Renee Zellweger repulses me.

In fact, no one that I have ever known puts me off near as much as Zellweger does. My initial exposure to Zellweger came in the theatres while watching Jerry MacGuire. She had a girl-next-girl quality about her that was cute, but not overwhelming.

Over time, it's gotten worse. The face that looks like she's been stung in the face by a hive of bees. The fluctuating weight and her obvious desire to be skinny despite all of that.

Plus, she's a shit actress. She's awful. The very thought that she is nominated for awards makes me ill.

Mostly, I just wanted to throw a series of shoes at the TV screen whenever she's on it. Talking or otherwise. She's thoroughly obnoxious, so much so I'll avoid a film if she's in it.

Overall, Chicago is pretty bad. The only definable quality to the film is that it has an ending and a lot of the music is extremely similiar to that of Cabaret.

'West Side Story'

As 2010 floats away making room for 2011, I opine about one of the greatest accomplishments in American art. That being West Side Story.

I'm prejudiced. I like West Side Story. My mother for years has gotten season passes to Fair Park's Dallas Summer Musicals. As a teenager, she took me to see West Side Story. At the time, I had little interest in anything other than girls and rock and roll.

Still, I'd read Romeo and Juliet my freshman year of high school and I was pretty high and might. I was disappointed that West Side Story was just a reimagining of Romeo and Juliet. Or, moreso, I was disappointed that they didn't even try to hide it.

I brushed off West Side Story for this reason. Looking back, that's silly. West Side Story is better because it takes Romeo and Juliet's basic structure and adds a series of wrinkles including the use of jazz, the setting of 1950s New York City, a mecca of art, culture, growth and a seedy subculture fed by the beats and jazz generation.

It's also post-war America. These rough-and-tumble kids remember Pearl Harbor and the years between 1941 and 1945 when their friends, neighbors and family members were shedding their blood. This was a time for America to mature. As it aged, the middle class grew, the upper class got crustier and both left the lower class.

That's where we find the Sharks and Jets. One, grandsons of immigrants, who all worked blue-collar jobs seeing their position in life, as a lower rung, being challenged by the new wave of immigrants from Latin America. It was not only about jobs or housing. But a certain pride of being the backbone of this country. A certain pride in being the doormat of the higher classes.

In actuality, these two groups had bigger gripes on the rich. It wasn't the Puerto Ricans driving wages down or forcing these people to live in tenements. And the Puerto Ricans probably didn't know who to fight other than the person in front of them throwing punches.

This is one of the top 10 most significant works that America has put out. Should they unfreeze my head in 2120 and ask me what Americans got right, I would point to West Side Story first.

'Cabaret'

In college, I was quite the supporter of the arts. I went to dance and music recitals, I attended plays and musicals, and I went to art exhibits. All put on by my university.

Around my junior or senior year, I saw a production of Cabaret. Although a fan of the musical, I'd never seen or read about Cabaret so I had little to go on in terms of context or what the story was about.

I was floored. My jaw was wide open and fell to the floor. The influx of Nazis thrilled me beyond anything I could have imagined and I almost instantly went to Hastings to rent the 1972 film production starring Liza Minnelli.

I liked the stage production more. It had the emcee change into the striped uniform worn by Jews, Poles and prisoners of war and he walks into this door emitting this very bright light. It was harrowing, to say the least.

I like the film, too. Bob Fosse has a certain style. I noted it during my review of All That Jazz, which I found equally as haunting and dark.

Cabaret captures the same feeling. Not the death of a man, like All That Jazz, but the death of a people, the death of a time period and kind of a death of innocence. The death of a half century. The death of humanism. The Holocaust was more than the death of six million people. It was the loss of how we perceive global relations, politics and the role of the United States. It forever altered the way people act and think, the way leaders lead and the way philosopher's saw the world.

Everything changed. The only guy who knew this was the emcee, the grinning, mischievous Joel Grey. I've always perceived as being the devil, or Satan. Often, Satan doesn't always slither like a snake to tempt Eve with the forbidden fruit. I believe he stands by and wrings his hands together as catastrophe and mayhem ensue. He mocks the evildoers as he watches in glee as the innocent are destroyed.

We think the emcee as part of the solution. Instead, he's more of the problem.

Two very poignant scenes: Clearly when Max and Brian stop at the beer garden and the Nazi Youth leads a chorus of "Tomorrow Belongs To Me." The vehemence and sincerity of which these people sing, a torn and angry people, is spooky and telling of where the mindset of the German in 1931 was.

Two, is the ending. It's the impish emcee staring into the camera sing-songy saying goodbye. A final swan song and wave goodbye of life as we knew it. All the future and all the lives are in limbo. Only the worst can be assumed.

'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'

"Camp" is not a cinematic tenet that I get a lot of the time. To me, it's like being bad for bad's sake. Especially when it's the goal for many people to be good.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is the ideal camp film. It's over the top and ridiculous. It's not only camp, but it's cult. Maybe the penultimate cult film. People crowd into theaters for sing alongs and shit.

I guess I can appreciate that. Isn't art's purpose to evoke some feeling and if it's still evoking those emotions spanning generations, 30 years after the fact, then that's a good thing.

Enjoyment makes art important. If no one enjoys it, what's the point? Millions and millions of people love this film. Even many who weren't even born when it was released.

Something that I think gets overshadowed due to the film's credibility as being "good" is Tim Curry's performance. He's fantastic, which makes sense since he pretty much created the character himself. It was his first film role and he could not have asked for a better one, in hindsiht of course.

'My Fair Lady'

Knowing the general plot of My Fair Lady, I found it hard to believe that it filled up 170 minutes.

If they'd cut out about three unnecessary songs and the drawn out ending, it might have clocked in about about 130 minutes. Instead, we get 170 minutes of Audrey Hepburn's awful cockney accent.

The film has quite a bit of significance considering it was released in 1964 when gender and class roles were reversing or evening out. Right when Lyndon B. Johnson was signing in the Great Society legislation, a film was released that showcased the prejudice that held down those of lesser education and income as lesser human beings.

Also, the blatant mysogination was a tenant of a bygone era by the 1960s as women took control of their own destinies out from underneath the thumb of man.

My Fair Lady is a musical, entertaining. It's also a eulogy for a bygone era that literally seemed a 100 years in the past.

'Le Million' & 'Love Me Tonight'

By chance, I've had the opportunity to watch a lot of old musicals. This is the first to be from the early 1930s (1931) and to be not American (French, clearly).

I was mesmerized. A fantastic story, beautifully executed with great music and performances. I daresay I was delighted.

It's not every day that you find a film in which you kind of like everyone, all the characters. It has a certain kind of 1930s hipness to it.

It's French. It's about artists and culture. It's about love. Most importantly, it's got an antiestablishment strain in it also -- a group of kindly criminals which serve to give "the man" a what for every chance that they can behind the brilliant leadership of Grandpa Tulip.

The film was highly influential and you can see its reach in American musicals, American comedies (Chaplin, et al.) and the next 50 years of French cinema. At the time, French filmmakers weren't doing anything truly inspiring until Rene Clair. Once he popped, everything started to go one direction.

One of the biggest influences is with Love Me Tonight, an American film set in France with a ton of the same qualities from the music to the physical comedy and acting and the likability of the characters.

Le Million also managed to do what even many films today fail to do: Create a breathtaking piece of art for a movie poster.

You make a good movie poster and chances are I'm seeing your film. Bottomline.

'Footlight Parade' & 'Gold Diggers Of 1933'

In the earlier days of the talkie, why were so many films about the entertainment industry -- essentially about the very lives and stories the actors and actresses were actually living?

In the silent era, you got exciting films like The Great Train Robbery, The Birth of a Nation, A Trip to the Moon, all the Chaplin and Keaton comedies and more. All have different stories and are set in exotic or interesting times and places.

Suddenly, we could hear voices and all the movies were about Broadway or Hollywood.

I could look up the answer, but that takes effort. So I'll guess.

For one, I think the transition of vaudeville (which still worked in the silent era) had to be moved to the big screen and this included singing and music. Thus we get Babes in Arms, which is about that transition, as was Singing in the Rain. So it was natural to work in the dancing, music and singing to wrap around a story about dancing, music and singing.

Also, I would suspect filming outside of a studio was really hard for a talkie. You needed the soundstage and studio in order to properly record the lines. It was a controlled set up, so why not just make the entire story take place on a soundstage?

Finally, it was probably pretty cheap. You paid the crew and cast. Otherwise, Paramount or Warner didn't have to buy studios, which they already owned. There were no costs for filming on location or scenery. In fact, they could probably film all of these films within 50 feet of each other in a matter of a couple of days. Box it, print it, ship it.

These are all guesses. But pretty good ones I suspect.

Also, James Cagney is an amazing performing.

'On The Town'

I can't get enough of Gene Kelly.

In An American in Paris, I opined about his ability to utilize space -- whether it's a tabletop or sidewalk to execute his dances.

In On the Town, I recognized his ease as he performed. Kelly dances as easy as we sleep. Some guys make their jobs look easy. Kelly has to be No. 1 on that list. No telling how many people he inspired to become dancers only for those people to learn that it was actually insanely tough work.

Some interesting production notes include Frank Sinatra having to wear a prosthetic ass to fill out his sailor's uniform and Jules Munshin being so terrified of heights that during the scene on top of the building, he had a rope tied to his waist and anchored to something off-screen.

I did find it odd that the only decent looking woman was Ann Miller and she was paired with the goofiest, non-star in Munshin.

Also, this was film on location, in New York City. For those who love the Big Apple (and if you've been there, you love it), this is a great film to watch especially if you're wanting to get a glimpse of New York City in its heyday of the 1940s and 1950s.

'Meet Me In St. Louis'

I have a friend, Rajesh, who visited St. Louis recently with his wife, Cate.

It was a rather short little vacation to a sleepy midwest city that they didn't really know a lot about, but it was within driving distance and was relatively cheap.

One of the biggest (if not, secretly, the only) reason why they chose St. Louis was the musical, Meet Me In St. Louis.

It stars a 21-year-old Judy Garland playing a coming-of-age woman at the turn of the century in St. Louis just prior to the World's Fair. She and her sister fight for the hands of their beaus as they also deal with possibly leaving the city -- and house -- they grew up in and love.

Cate, in fact, loves this film. According to Rajesh, it's one of her favorites all time. Allegedly, the pair drove around "for hours" trying to find the home of Sally Benson, the writer that wrote the short stories from which the film's script was culled . Or former home. Like in the film (which is semi-autobiographical), she was moved due to her father's business to New York.

According to Rajesh, the couple drove through "demilitarized" streets of St. Louis trying to find this house only to learn that the old structure was, at some point, demolished. So, two of the whitest people I know were in middle of a St. Louis ghetto taking photos of an empty lot.

Therefore, I had to assume this movie was kickass. I was disappointed. I like my musicals, but I need at least some depth. Good songs. Maybe some good dancing.

I get none in Meet Me In St. Louis. Although I do love "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," which was written for the film. Although the film isn't overly Christmasy, so it kinda sticks out like a sore thumb.

Other fun facts:
1. Kid actor Margaret O'Brien plays Tootie. According to the Internet, O'Brien's mother was being a total bitch so the directors attempted to kick her out for one of the crew member's daughter. They eventually opted for O'Brien. The same crew member apparently dropped a light almost hitting (and probably killing) young O'Brien. The crew member was escorted from the studio and was put in an insane asylum.

2. Judy Garland would eventually marry the director, Vincente Minelli. They would have a daughter, Liza.

3. Benson may have been best known for her screen writing. She was nominated for an Oscar for her script for Anna and the King of Siam. She also wrote Alfred Hitchcock's Shadow of a Doubt.

'Babes in Arms'

Ask me what celebrity I'd most enjoy punching square in the face, it'd be Mickey Rooney.

If that doesn't quite explain things: I flippin' hate Mickey Rooney.

He represents what I always find kind of gay about old Hollywood. The spunky, cute kid who appears really talented with the ability to sing, dance, play instruments and coordinate all this together for a big "show." Shows. That's what they used to have back in the days of Vaudeville. Shows. With singing and dancing. Everyone smiling and getting high of other people looking at you and clapping. It's has disgustingly narcissistic as you can possibly get. It's downright unhealthy.

"Babes in Arms" is the ultimate apex of this for Rooney. I would also cite James Cagney in "Yankee Doodle Dandy" for the same thing, but he'd probably punch me in the face before I had the opportunity to raise my eyes in his direction.

I guess I hate him because he was always walking around like there's a camera pointed at him. He was never real.

Rooney is just a pipsqueak. Always trying to prove something to somebody. Always in this goofy, aw-shucks predicaments. Always trying to balance his love the stage and for Judy Garland. I just wanted to kick him in his teeth. So cocky. Any one of those other guys should've just pounded him.

'The Red Shoes'

One of the best films I've seen in a long time. Or in a while and definitely one of the top 10 or so I've seen of the 350 films I've seen during this little excursion.

For one, three cheers for Technicolor. However they decided to use color in film at the made an awesome choice in this regard because the color makes the film -- from the dance setting, Moira Shearer's vivacious red hair and, of course, the shoes. It's well-everythinged. Directed. Acted. Written.

I'm not a patron of the ballet, but I very well could be. I have a hell of a lot of respect for dancers, choreographers and directors because it takes a lot of vision and work to make that work right. Especially the dancing. The gruelling practices and years of work to get to a level of performance a vast majority of people can not understand. I loved all the dance scenes in the film.

Finally, I want to throw a bone to the British. In two of three posts, I've remarked upon two British movies, both of which were made in the 1940s. I could very well be wrong, but this appears to be the peak in British filmmaking (so to speak), during a time when Nazi bombers were making nightly runs over London or when they were simply trying to rebuild. "The Red Shoes" will not be the last reviewed upon on this blog from 1940s England.

'Moulin Rouge'

I own Moulin Rouge, the most recent adaptation centered around the famed Paris dance hall. I don't know why. I suspect that it was a gift.

I do remember watching it for the first time and not really liking it for the same reasons I don't like a lot of Baz Luhrmann's films: the editing is insane and the cuts make me nauseous. Plus, there are too many "Cheer Up, Charlie" moments.

Of course, I'm referring to the scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where Charlie goes to visit his mother at work down and out because he probably wasn't going to get a golden ticket.

Unadvisably, the mother begins singing "Cheer Up, Charlie" with footage of the forlorn Charlie walking home. By far, it's the most fast forwarded scene in film history.

That's about 80 percent of the second half of Moulin Rouge: the "Like a Virgin" scene, the jealousy scene, the "Come What May" scene and everything else. Unwatchable and boring.

So why do I still own this film? I don't know. I'm prepared now to Half-Price back to the masses.

I assume it's because I like Ewan McGregor, the turn-of-the-century Paris is very intriguing to me and I don't mind the mashing together of the modern songs to the idiom of 1899 Paris.

Maybe it's a little gay. But I do love pop music and I think it holds a timeless signifigance because it's all about love, loss and partying (to put it simply). These are the same themes that music of that period extolled. Except Bernie Taupin wasn't writing them. Yet.

'Swing Time'

Here's an odd statement: There isn't enough Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dancing in this film. It's disappointing. If I were directing an Astaire-Rogers film, they'd be dancing in 80 percent of the film.

What's interesting is that there aren't films anymore that are based on one or two people doing a singular thing like dancing or singing. Nobody dances or sings anymore anyway.

The only exception is pornography. Eight percent of a porn is screwing. The other 20 percent is thinly-veiled plot development.

All Astaire-Rogers films should follow the same rule.

'The Sound of Music'

I dated a girl in college and she had an aunt Melody, or Mel as she was informally called.

She called me "the lil' goatherd boy" from "The Sound of Music" when the children and fraulein Maria do the puppet show for herr Von Trapp, the Baroness and Max Detweiler.

That may be my favorite part of the entire film. I've always liked it though. I thought Julie Andrews was super cute along with Liesl. In fact, Liesl was my No. 1 all-time, first-time babe. I thought she was gorgeous and I was pretty upset to learn that when I first watched the film, she was probably 35 or 40 years old. I was just happy that asshole Nazi Youth Rolf didn't get her.

'Top Hat'

Dancers are thoroughly entertaining. I also think they might be annoying.

I think about dancers like I do Paul McCartney. Now, I'm a gigantic fan of Sir Paul and his entire catalog from The Beatles through his more modern albums.
However, I get the feeling that he's too much of a ham in intimate, face-to-face meetings. I read a New Yorker profile on McCartney and it seemed every time the writer turned around, he was at a piano or cradling a guitar singing and playing.

I see Fred Astaire being like that, only with dance. Like instead of just walking down the street, he starts doing some soft shoe or a waltz.

But that's just my perception.