'Paul Simon'

Right now, my favorite album. Bought it at a record store about three months ago and didn't put it on the turntable up until a month ago.

Brilliant. Really haven't taken it off except for Genesis, The Monkees and Joni Mitchell.

Paul Simon is the exact reason why I really can't get behind Graceland and Hearts and Bones, two later albums that seem so distasteful, overproduced, overinstrumented and over ... everythinged.

Paul Simon is simple. A guitar, a man and his notebook with his confessional, personal lyrics that detailed parts of his life that you might not be able to get out of the guy even after four pints of beer. There's a reason Edie Brickell married him. Paul Simon is that reason.

'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'

Very, very fond memories of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Watched it over and over through junior high and high school.

Later, I housesat for some friends and had the first girl I ever had any feelings for over and we watched Holy Grail together. Great night for me.

It has to be one of the top two or three funniest movies ever. The Pythons wedged their snarky, intelligent and biting humor into every second -- from the starting credits, an intermission and everything in between. From commenting on politics, religion, history, literature and folklore, the Pythons took aim wherever their gun pointed. It didn't matter. Irreverent and, yet, poignant. All in 88 short minutes.

How good is it? Watch it 20 times and try to narrow down your top 10 favorite moments? It'd drive you mad.

I will admit that if I were a dorky Python fan in 1975, going to the theater, watching this hilirious movie only to have it end so abruptly without any real conclusion, it would have been very, very frustrating and borderline maddening.

'A Nightmare on Elm Street'

Of all the horror flicks from the the 1980s, A Nightmare on Elm Street was the always the scariest.

In fact, a lot of these films were scary because the killers (Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhies, Michael Myers, et al.) always had a purpose: murder and revenge. Earlier films involved aliens (just looking for new real estate), zombies (they just didn't know any better) and vampires (they vanted to suck your blood). The new breed in the 1980s were just mean. Later, horror creatures would get all psychological and just plain spooky.

A Nightmare on Elm Street took things to a new level. With Jason and Michael, I always felt I could just keep on running. Avoid going up stairs or cornering yourself in and you'll be able to survive.

With Freddy, shit, you couldn't go to sleep. Luckily, the girl in the movie realized that he existed in the dreams and could be killed should he be dragged into real life. How the hell were you really supposed to find all of this out? How terrifying it'd be to absolutely have to go to sleep, but you realize that you can't? Freddy hunted and murdered on a plain that nobody knew anything about and you were helpless in Freddy's world. Because you were asleep. That creeped me out to no end as a kid.

'Body Heat'

Let me shoot you straight about Kathleen Turner: She is one of the top three or five hottest pieces of ass I've ever, ever seen.

Body Heat is her first feature film. Her breakout. And, boy, did she ever break out. She's breathtaking and I could only imagine being a young man when the film came out.

With all that said, it's not a very good movie. It's the typical film noir, Postman Rings Twice scenario where the woman wants out of the relationship -- one she entered just for money -- and hoodwinks some handsome young buck to do the murdering of the husband, who may be a dick, but he has as much right to breath as the next guy. Except, it's Kathleen Turner. She would've been able to keep Adolf Hitler from murdering people.

The sucker this time is the uber-handsome, yet balding, William Hurt, who is apparently a magnificent lover and up to the point where he's arrested, the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. Up until the whole jail thing. Hurt reminds me as much of a porn star as we can get in the legit Hollywood world. He just walks onto a set, kind of half-asses it and gets by thanks to his looks, animal magnetism and hot body. Think Ron Jeremy was too concern with his lines? Neither was Hurt.

'Selling England by the Pound'

Genesis, a prog-rock band!

Why didn't anyone tell me this?

When someone is born, the parents should receive an instruction booklet. The child should receive some kind of orientation like Austin Powers after he is thawed from cyrogenic freezing showing the Berlin Wall falling, the moon landing and Michael Jackson's Thriller.

Part of that early orientation should include letting everyone know that Genesis wasn't just the retarded band known for Abacab and "I Can't Dance." Otherwise, you'll end up like me listening to some nice Selling England by the Pound and basically discovering an entirely different band.

It's erratic, wandering and, at times, heavy. Filled with nonsensical 1970s rock lyrics (see: Steely Dan) and insane drumming. Even some young Phil Collins.

I just want to know what happened. Has anyone asked Collins this? How do you go from progressive rock and roll to the song about the guy drowning and the incredibly awful "I Can't Dance." It's not like the two choices are even close. Somehow Collins and the guy from Mike and the Mechanics bridged that gap.

Probably why Peter Gabriel left and never looked back.

'On the Waterfront'

If you want a pretty nice companion piece for Elia Kazan's "On the Waterfront," watch season 2 of "The Wire."

In the HBO crime drama, the series moves to the Baltimore docks where we discover how the drugs are reaching the gangs on the streets -- through the unionized longshoremen, who are too poor to really care and don't consider bring crates full of drugs or guns into the country because they're going to someone else's neighborhood.

White dock workers, black drug dealers, Greek drug lords. Quite the melting pot.

"On the Waterfront" is a brilliant account of the corruption and violence that plagued the docks, unions and the people running both.

I've never understand this slanted solidarity. These union guys keep their mouths shut and their eyes closes most of the time. Create any trouble and you don't get work. After a while, a group of these guys get together to maybe change things by going to the authorities.

It wasn't a fair lifestyle. And we only get one. Why waste it hoping you'll get a shitty job that doesn't play anything. Actually, it prob is OK if you don't have a mortgage, wife or kids. Still, most live in poverty working their asses off so the union can take their cut along with the American government.

However, someone stands up on his own, gets the crap beat out of him (remember, Terry wasn't a very good boxer. Just a contender.) While the rest of the union just stands there letting him take the whipping. Great guys. Unions sound awesome. Seem like they always have the group in mind when they make decisions. Yeah.

'Music' & 'Ray of Light'

These albums were released in the late-1990s and early-2000s. Around this time, Madonna -- one of the biggest pop stars in the history of pop stars -- decided to quit writing and performing hit pop singles.

Instead, she hooked up with a series of producers to do a bunch of club songs to appeal to a niche audience, who will all turn 22 at some point and then cease to like that over-produced, over-bassed crap.

Also, Madonna made the -- probably -- very wise move in targeting her music to the homosexual male. For one, it's all club dance music.

Two, all the lyrics are mysteriously told from the woman's point of view about the guy. So, there's a lot of "his," "he," "him" and the like. Making them perfect songs for the gay. Doesn't hurt that Madonna is the Gen X version of Barbara Streisand -- the gay man's sweetheart.

Frankly, these albums completley stink and you'll never convince me that there aren't some Beatles, Rolling Stones, Beethoven, Tears for Fears or Megadeth albums that aren't more important.