'Robinson Crusoe'

I really feel I've been lied to all these years. What is the quintessential shipwrecked survival story? What piece of pop culture is mentioned in the iconic theme song for Gilligan's Island?

Robinson Crusoe.

Then you read the book and understand that maybe 25 percent of the story is Robinson and his man Friday stuck on that lonely piece of the Pacific Ocean. In fact, most of the book is Crusoe leaving the island, incidentally coming back to save the day and proceeding to sail around the world.

The original title of the book:

The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, Of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver'd by Pyrates

'Salò' & '120 Days Of Sodom'

Is it weird that neither the film nor book made me bat an eye?

This all should horrify me, but it doesn't and I think it's because it's so blatantly insane and over the top. Still, I'd never let my daughter or mom read the book or watch the film.

I also suspect I've been numbed by so much violence and sex over the years and it doesn't really matter. The only way to go is more graphic and more insane. And there's probably a tiny part of my brain that likes all of this.

The film is considered one of the most controversial films in history showing an unparalleled amount of sadism, nudity, graphic sexual encounters and the eating of feces. All of it happening to mere children.

Still, it's 1/20th of what the book recounts as the old prostitutes tell the gathering about their past exploits for 500 pages as it goes from highly illicit fornication, torture and eventually murder. The difference between the book and film is the level and total amount of adventures, but what the film lacks in quantity it makes up for the wicked nature and emotion from the four libertines as they almost revel in the final scene of hangings, tortures and scalpings.

'The Castle Of Otranto'

Considered the start of the gothic novel thing that would actually get popular about 60 years after Horace Walpole published The Castle of Otranto. Bunch of johnny-come-latelys.

Anyway, reading this story and all I could think about was Shakespeare. This story is several hundred years after the Bard, but there is a clear set of plot devices and characters that resemble Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear and basically any tragedy Shakespeare got down on paper. Which makes you wonder whether Shakespeare was truly the progenitor of the gothic novel.

Walpole, himself, was the fourth Earl of Orford. He went to college and dabbled a little in politics. Frankly, he had no real career. He was known just for writing this book and building Strawberry Hill near London. It was built in a gothic style, again, years before others made it cool.

Walpole never married. There were rumors that he was dallying around with a bunch of unmarriable women. Some say he was gay. At the very least he was asexual. Sometimes to know the story, you have to know the author.

'Reveries Of A Solitary Walker'

For all intents and purposes, Jean-Jacques Rousseau's "Reveries of a Solitary Walker" was the first ever blog. God might have an argument for the Holy Bible. But I'll stick with the French philosopher.

Rousseau had little use for the narrative or storytelling element of the novel. He had ideas and the most direct, best way to get those ideas to the public or to those who read were through these short little essays.

These essays or "walks" were written near the end of Rousseau's life (he did not finish the final "walk, No. 10, before his death). I can just imagine a very bitter (he was ... it shows) and bored Rousseau probably stuck indoors or in a chair for a lot of the time wanting to get something done and wanting to speak his mind one final time.

What makes it a blog -- of sorts -- is that it's (we assume) completely bias, highly personal and written with no filter.

Hodgepodged throughout are anecdotes about these walks he takes through Paris and the surrounding areas documenting these incidents with individuals and the revelry in nature. Some stories border on the ridiculousness of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," while all support some idea or social standard that has captured Rousseau's fancy at the moment.

Chuck Klosterman has published five books and gotten gigs at SPIN, ESPN and Esquire doing essentially the same thing. Seems Rousseau battled just to have a couple of friends.

'Gulliver's Travels'

When you think about it, this is a pretty interesting book coming from the Irishman Jonathan Swift.

It's basically a 300+ page indictment of Europe, religion, politicians, policy, colonization and everything that represented England and other established nations.

Once Gulliver goes off on his second trip leaving his family, you think about this guy being a gigantic dick. Thinking about it, Gulliver is England (or any top notch country during any period in history) and all its faults and the way it deals with the people he comes upon mirror the relationships in Europe at the time or the way the world looks at the United States today.

To a point, it's also a reprieve. Yes, countries like 18th century England or 21st century America do some things wrong. However, on any given day, you're dealing with the Floating Island, a bunch of talking horses or Lilliputians. There comes a point when no matter what you do, it pisses off someone. Everyone's just too different to keep everyone happy.

'Candide'

Read this my sophomore year of college in "World Literature."

It's good. More like a fable than anything else. Basically just Voltaire trying to make a point about religion, fate, destiny, God, the evil of man and all that.

And Voltaire jives with what I've always thought about people: They're inherently they're selfish and bad, and if you leave them to their own devices they will screw up and never do what is right for others or humanity as a whole.

It's these types of ideas that I learned in college that really molded the way I think about policy and life today.

On a more shallow note, I did like that Candide went through all that shit only to have his girl turn out to be ugly.