'The Accidental Tourist'

An extremely odd movie. It's awful. Let's just start there. By far the worst movie I've seen in quite some time. Maybe ever.

It has no vision.

William Hurt -- who is hit or miss as an actor -- is the writer of travel guides for businessmen call "The Accidental Tourist."

He is the husband to Kathleen Turner. As it turns out, they had a son who was senselessly murdered in a hold up. Unable to recapture the magic they once had (after they conspired to kill Turner's husband ... hold on, wrong movie) they separate and we are subject to Hurt dealing with an old creaky house and an emotionally-drained dog.

Which brings us to Geena Davis, the entrepreneur of a dog-sitting, training business who helps Hurt with the mischievous dog and his own broken heart.

Hold on. Hurt has a family. Yes. It was largely ignored the first half of the film, but we soon learn that Hurt's brother, sister and father all live in the old house. The sister is the "mother," keeping everything organized and clean. The other two work. All three are clearly nuts. Hurt's not far behind.

Davis and Hurt are together and become quite serious until Turner shows back up wanting to reignite the flame. It works until the all inexplicably go to Paris (Hurt for work, Turner to take care of him and Davis to be obnoxious) where Hurt realizes he should be with Davis.

Now, for one, this film is held back by the 1980s. The 1980s sitcom music and the campy film poster tends to suggest a comedy. There is no laughter here, friends.

On the other hand, the dead son is rarely discussed, the behavior of the dog is unexplained, Turner's mindset during the separation and her reasoning to get back together are unexplained. The family's not funny. In fact, they're weird.

In one part, Hurt and his father are for some reason in a car going somewhere. The father asks Hurt where he thinks the relationship with Geena Davis is going and starts trashing the Davis character.

Next thing, a new scene and the father's mistrust in Davis and/or her intentions or his son's ability to take care of himself is never hit upon again.

It's almost as if the film was just poorly edited. Like they shot four hours of footage, carved it down to two hours; however, they failed to keep in important, plot-moving scenes and left in innocuous, nonsensical scenes.

And why Bill Pullman was even in the film is a complete and utter mystery.