'The Blueprint'

One reason I like Jay-Z is because he's one rapper who has put the absolute minimum on his physical appearance -- specifically his physique.

He's as doughy and ordinary as the next guy.

The only difference is that he runs a multi-billion dollar industry in which he's the centerpiece. Plus, he owns the New Jersey Nets.

And he's banging Beyonce.

Yeah, he's an everyman.

'The Murder of Roger Ackroyd'

The trick to reading and figuring out an Agatha Christie mystery is realizing there's a twist.

Then thinking that the twist is obvious in a perfect way so you either go with someone not as obvious or even more obvious.

Then it turns out the murderer is the initial person you thought -- the person that was appropriately obvious.

And there's an Agatha Christie mystery.

'Nanook of the North'

I think its funny that a major criticism of "Nanook of the North" is that the director, John Flaherty, staged some of the scenes.

Documentaries are not supposed to distort the truth.

Yeah. Documentaries never have an agenda.

'Close Encounters of the Third Kind'

I find this entire premise dumb. It's semi-comical, mysterious, thriller tripe, which pits unassuming humans up against some paranormal entity that it can't really combat and it all eventually works itself out on its own accord.

They did the same thing with "Poltergeist" five years later.

Aliens are the dumbest thing to care about in the world. Not that I don't believe that somewhere in this vast universe there aren't other beings. I find it highly probable. I find it extremely improbable that they've ever landed or visited Earth multiple times more or less took such an interest as to abduct people and fly around.

I do got to admit the sub-storyline of the scientists finding all the missing ships and planes is pretty cool.

On another note, doesn't it seem the 1970s sucked. People weren't wearing enough clothes. Cars never started. It was always hot. People probably ate things like aliens, Bigfoot, the Bermuda Triangle and the Loch Ness monster up because they're dumb. Plus, they had personal duck ponds in their backyards but no Internet.

Plus, Richard Dreyfuss.

I would've blown my brains out.

'The College Dropout'

In 50 years, what will Kanye West's legacy be?

In the 1980s, did everyone know that Run DMC would be so celebrated?

West is clearly one of the most original, self-aware, innovative and progressive hip-hop artists of all time and I believe his legacy and reputation is already being solidified three or four albums in.

Along with all this, he's entirely digestable. Even for white folks. Maybe especially for white folks.

He seems to clear less for album sales as much as he cares about rhyming about album sales. He's part fashionista, MC and trend setter.

'The Godfather'

The book is a lot like the film(s). Both are really well done -- simplistic and mesmerizing. Both are character driven and Mario Puzo is excellent at giving his characters such vivacious personalities and attitudes.

All is OK except for Puzo's loyalty to the secondary characters like Johnny Fontane, Lucy and Jules. In fact, the Las Vegas stuff should've had more Fredo injected into it and a lot less of those three.

And the vaginal reconstructive surgery was entirely unnecessary.

Yeah, that's one thing Coppola omitted from his film, and he was better off.

'Gimme Shelter'

Rock and roll fans have been terribly mislead. We've fallen victim to the assumption that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were the two coolest Rolling Stones. Jagger I'll give you. But Richards? Please. He was a cartoon character, all hype and little payoff.

The Rolling Stones cool rankings:

1. Brian Jones

2. Charlie Watts

3. Mick Jagger

4. Mick Taylor

5. Keith Richards

6. Ron Wood

7. Bill Wyman

Watts is especially interesting to watch. In fact, it's kind of his and Jagger's film. And Watts was always the quiet one, but it's clear now that he's one of the coolest. And he's also a really good drummer, which is evident in the concert footage.

Wyman's bassline in "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" is glorious.

Jagger is just great. He is perpetually jerking off the crowd trying to get them off one at a time and only stops when the show's over. This is epitomized in the footage of Ike and Tina Turner when the latter is literally stroking the microphone like it's a phallus.

The film also chronicles the death rattle of the hippie era, the 1960s: Altamont. They're a very interesting, over stereotyped subset of people. Clearly, they didn't have their shit together. Not that a ton of people did in the 1960s, but just saying.

'The Stranger'

Orson Welles' mustache should've been nominated for an Oscar.

It's an interesting 15 minutes in the middle of the film when everything evolves around the dog, Red.

In it, the brother asks Edward G. Robinson's character what possible laws were broken for murdering the poor dog. He states further that it's just as bad as killing a human.

At this point in the film, the brother knows Robinson's suspicion's of Welles' character of being a Nazi, one of the masterminds behind the destruction of Europe's Jewish population.

But certainly killing a dog should be equated to killing a person. Say six million puppies compared to six million Jews. Maybe a comment on the true detachment of the Americans during World War II and the Holocaust.

The wife was certainly a dumb slut.

'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'

This is a really thought-provoking, creative film.

I just didn't like the casting. Clearly, it doesn't take that much away from the whole, but subtracts some. Jim Carrey looks a billion years old. And he comes off as so unbalanced in a dramatic role. Plus, Elijah Wood and Kirsten Dunst can come off as so stale and uninviting.

'In the Heat of the Night'

This is a really great film. Actingwise, it's pretty dated. Some of the ways these people interact with each other you can tell it was made 40 years ago.

Then again, it's fresh and vibrant. There are some shots (really tight close-ups on items, or even the hands of Tibbs when he's inspecting the body) that look so good, so modern. I mean, you could just see those 15-second shots and think the film could've been made in 1999.

I also enjoy it when I see a film set in the 1960s (or 1970s, or whenever) actually shot in the same decade. It's shocking how modern filmmaking can not recreate well a modern bygone era. The clothes and hair look like Halloween costumes.

It's just so obvious that a film shot in 2002 and set in the 1960s actually didn't happen in the 1960s because nobody looked that fake.

'Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmakers Apocalypse'

I'm not a huge fan of the director's commentaries, notes, scripts and all the peripheral junk that comes along with a film.

However, if they decided to accompany the big films and big directors (Coppola, Scorsese, Lucas, Polanski, Forman, Coen Bros., et al.) with hour-and-a-half documentaries about making a film, then I'm all eyes and ears.

The virtually self-imposed torment Francis Ford Coppola heaped himself is tremendous. The religion of film making and the amount of effort and tediousness they place on the script, actors and everything else in the film is tremendous and often jaw-dropping.

It was fascinating seeing these interviews (past and present) and these people's points of view in regards to something they felt very strongly about.

'The Velvet Underground'

When I pondered the Grateful Dead and their album "American Beauty" for this album, I brought up the point that they were considered some hippie jam band when I really consider them a country band.

Conversely, the Velvet Underground are similar animals. They tend to get groups in weirdo, artsy-fartsy pop-rock, taking drugs with Andy Warhol. A real New York band.

Not that they were prone to the artsy-fartsy track here or there, but in reality they were pretty ordinary (ordinary great, not ordinary ordinary). They could've been from Omaha, Austin or Tacoma. Many of their tracks are three chords, two verses and a chorus. It could be argued they're more rock and roll than Led Zeppelin (and entirely more rock and roll than Yes).

'The Death of Ivan Ilyich'

This novella by the great Leo Tolstoy brings up some very interesting points.

For one, Ivan Ilyich's death is entirely more interesting than his death.

Two, it's interesting that Christian folks embrace "The Death ..." because of the conversion near the end, just before our hero expires. Why is it interesting? Because I can't imagine Christians ever reading anything remotely interesting and good. Oh, and that I don't find it odd that knocking on death's door that a person (even an athiest) doesn't hedge his bets on an afterlife ... no matter how insincere the conversion is.

Three, how different does this story end if it's set in 1982 or 2002 or 2008? Chances are, Ilyich died of something dumb. Had he lived in the modern age where prevention and detection are so advanced, Ilyich probably lives for another 40 years. Of course, he would've been so miserable. He's probably better off.

'Three Kings'

This is one of the most powerful films I have seen in a long, long time.

There's nobody that tries to maintain some sort of clarity regarding my country and its exploits around the world for the past 300+ years more than me. If war was so awesome, so clear cut, then it would happen a lot more than it actually does. If determining good from bad meant just seeing who was dressed in black, then it'd be simpler. But it's not and never is.

America has had some shitty leadership over the years and there has been a steady and sure set of events that have put the United States and the rest of the world in it's specific and current predicaments. There is little we can all do about the past. However, it is our and everyone else's duty to fight for what is right; to fight against what is wrong. It's as human as breathing. We had the responsibility to invade Iraq years ago ... not as oil-needy Americans, not as a first-world country, but as human beings. Frankly, it should've happened in the 1990s, but someone's father fucked it up then and ended up really screwing his own son. The situation in all kinds of places around the world is fucked up. But it's not less fucked up with Saddam Hussein gassing folks.

No country, no leader is perfect. Would I rather not have Paris Hilton be so looked up to, or have all the shitty reality TV, dumb movies and the inane luxuries? Certainly. But give me Paris Hilton any day of the week over 90 percent of the world. I'd bet there's a shitload of Iraqis who'd say the same.

See, told you it was a powerful film.

'The Spy Who Came in From the Cold'

Despite the title, it has little to do with someone battling a winter storm finally arriving home to warm himself by the fire.

But it's certainly about the Cold War and more importantly questioning the integrity and morality of spy warfare, and the tactics of the Allies and Russia.

Frankly, I don't understand spies. When they say, "You can trust no one," they mean it. And no one includes your friends and employers. These spies are and were just pawns in a bigger game and they were as expendable as a penny or a hair on your head. How can you live like that? Devoid of any human characteristic and emotion like happiness and love? How depressing!

By the way, I'm still not 100 percent clear who was on whose team in this book. Still trying to figure that out.

'This is Spinal Tap'

I had been under the vague assumption that there were two Spinal Tap movies.

Odd that I had never sat down and watched this film in its entirety before right now. I mean, the entire piece appealed to the 12- to 24-year-old me on such a high and powerful level.

It's still very, very humorous, but not as much had it seen it at age 17. The 17-year-old me would've laughed his ass off for all 82 minutes.

The British accents make me think of Adrian Brody in the underrated "Son of Sam" where he's the punk rocker and he (the character, and thus Brody) speaks in a very, very, very poor British accent despite being very, very, very Italian.

M*A*S*H

This is pretty unwatchable. Pretty dumb, not funny and not really poignant or telling. Nothing that makes me look at war any differently. Although, the football game analogy was pretty interesting, but entirely too long.

Allegedly, is a satirical "dramedy" (it's not really funny in the least) about the Vietnam War ... despite the fact that it's actually about the Korean War. I dislike the "thinly veiled" commentary on the Vietnam War because it insinuates that the Korean conflict was somehow not on the same level in terms of war being, you know, bad and senseless. The fact that it's about Korea somehow makes it a little more legit then if it was about Vietnam.

More so than war, the film's more of a commentary on religion. Which any half-wit, hack film student can do. Seems petty and dumb.

I did learn that "Suicide is Painless" -- the theme song -- actually has lyrics. Long before Midlake ripped it off.

'The Velvet Underground and Nico'

Got to give the Underground credit: They never really overextended themselves. Which is kind of a double-edged sword. Try to hard and it's obvious. Don't try hard enough and it's lazy.

I tend to group the Underground with the former.

It must have been pretty exciting to be 21 years old in 1967 listening to the Beatles, Beach Boys, Stones and Underground.

Uh, hold on. At 21 in 1967, you're probably getting your guts blown out in Vietnam. No thanks. I'll just download it from iTunes in 2008 and keep my guts.

'The Picture of Dorian Gray'

Oscar Wilde is alright. The British must be very proud of him. He's so stinking witty and smart. Just chockfull of wonderful little idioms and themes.

Like "The Picture of Dorian Grey." What a great work about the value of morals and decent behavior.

It's odd reading such a dark book from Wilde, the same guy who brought us "The Importance of Being Earnest." Such great ability.

The British must be very proud.