'Short Cuts'

This Robert Altman flick is more than three hours long.

Instead of spending your time fighting through this so-called adaptation of nine Raymond Carver short stories and poetry, I would suggest an alternative route.

Go find or borrow Carver's What We Talk About When We Talk About Love and Where I'm Calling From and read them. In three hours of reading, you should be able to knock out at least 15 or more short stories and it'll be more edifying than viewing the 1990s train wreck that was the film.

Or maybe you like a bunch of females actresses that oddly look all the seame wearing flowing, ill-fitting shirts and dresses, bicycle shorts, men in ridiculous haircuts and children in brightly-colored clothing. If that's your thing, this is your Citizen Kane.

Altman is hit or miss. Tim Robbins is solid in anything. And we see Julianne Moore pantsless and Madeline Stowe topless. And we get over-the-top proof that Andie MacDowell is absolutely the worst actress ever.