'Return Of The Jedi'

The third -- or sixth, depending on how you look at it -- installment of the Star Wars saga typically takes the most criticism.

However, I'm here to defend it. The biggest point of concern for those with opinions: The Ewoks.

The furry little creatures that assist the rebellion in knocking out the Empire on Endor were the last straw for most fans, who saw the ploy -- cinematically -- as being a way for George Lucas to make it more of a family film.

This is a good film. Maybe not as good as The Empire Strikes Back, but little is. You can't compare them because it's like comparing apples to giraffes. Like comparing Godfather III to Godfather II. Typically, the second in a trilogy is better. It's the apex of the plot. Where the rubber meets the rode. It's the orgasm. Everything else is foreplay and cuddling.

Therefore, Jedi and the Ewoks were already behind the proverbial eight ball. It's the unsatisfying cuddling. It's necessary after getting laid.

So, the Ewoks were necessary. Not only for the cuddling, but because they represent every indigenous people in this world that have never quite gotten the chance to fight back, to defeat the big guy.

What we never think about is that the British, Dutch, French, Spanish, Portugeuse, American and German empires went around the world and took over countries and pumped out the natural resources to make money and pad the pockets of a select few. But it's not like there were a billion armed, equal Indians taking on the British empire. Or a bunch of Vietnamese in the position to take on the French.

They had no chance. And that's why many of these countries are in total disrepair.

In a cute way, the Ewoks represent these people and the battles they've been fighting for centuries and have been losing more often than not. It's thin analogy, but, then again, it is George Lucas. Hell of a storyteller, but a half-assed filmmaker.