'The Barefoot Contessa'

There's "Old Hollywood" aspects of this film that makes me hate it.

For one, there's no thought. Basically, the producers got two big names (Bogey, Ava Gardner) and came up with a dumb, convoluted plot based around Hollywood itself and a bunch of pitiful characters that evoke little emotion.

Ava Gardner's good looking and sexy as hell, but her character is sexless. There are tons of good looking women that want to be in a movie. But it's how you treat those actresses as their characters that count. Good looking's one thing, looking like she wants to screw is another.

'Middlesex'

This is just a brilliant piece of fiction from the greatness of Jeffrey Eugenides. There's no real shock there.

The book is about Calliope, the offspring of Greek immigrants, who struggles with her own identity only finding out that she's a hermaphrodite. Amid this crisis is the family's backstory mixing in race, history, religion, tragedy, love, the American dream and the aspect of fitting in despite all this mess.

Near the end of the book, Calliope divorces herself from her female upbringing and becomes a boy, physically a better match. At this team, not only is Calliope (Cal) and her family struggling with this transition, but I find myself struggling with it. Frankly, you spend 400 pages getting to know this person (despite you having a pretty good idea of what happens) and then it changes. It was the same feeling I think I would have if a buddy of mine suddenly became a female -- a certain foreignness and anxiety. It's an odd feeling considering it was a fictional character.

'Naked Lunch'

You know, whenever I wondered who would play William Burroughs in an adaptation of his own book, I never, ever looked passed the guy who played RoboCop.

I am upset that I did not get to read the book before I watched the movie. But I bet I survive.

'Kandahar'

Nothing -- and I mean absolutely nothing -- weirds me out more than the burqa.

With no intent on being critical of another culture, those things are creeeeeepy. Even more so when you have a group of women in the burqas -- all faceless, like ghosts. Wrapped like mummies ready for burial.

And, to be honest, that whole area of the world creeps me out. I don't think there's enough money in the world to get me to visit Iran or Afghanistan. It seems so desolate, backwards and dangerous. Like there's no order.

Also, a lot of people complain about Americans being so fundamentally religious and Christianity is so awful, but those people have to realize that dangerous religion has no borders, ethnicities, colors or gods. There are as many nutty Christians as their are Catholics, Jews, Muslims or Buddhists.

'The Killing Fields'

Could you imagine being such a die-hard journalist that you stick around in war-torn countries just for the story? You don't run from the bombs, you run toward them. Murders and genocide? Get on the boat and seek it out. Arrest and death be damned!

I do acknowledge these people as being better than me, but I do like it when you see or see protrayed the Western journalist in a third-world country trying to explain to the non-English speaking guerilla warrior or savage that they're not only "from (insert Western country here)" but that they're a "journalist."

Did many Khmer Rouge soldiers really give a hoot? No, they just pollute.

Also, I find it odd that folks are so quick to believe a new regime when they take power -- that everything's going to be OK. Then things clearly don't go OK and almost everyone is cool with waiting out the bad period. Like a bunch of those people couldn't overtake those shitty Khmer Rouge soldiers and start taking them out. When things are at their worst, people don't realize it can get even more so.

'Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain'

What's so wrong about making music that's listenable. Don't get me wrong, I've always liked Pavement and "Slanted and Enchanted's" great. But is it so bad to want to shy away from music that is largely unpopular because it is so dissonant and embrace something more digestable?

If you had to make a boxset of the most essential records from the 1990s, "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain" would simply need to be included.

It's noisy and nonsensical without losing even the most wimpy of music ears.

'Music From Big Pink'

I sought out this album from The Band after reading "Get Back: The Unauthorized Chronicle of The Beatles Let It Be Disaster."

The book is pretty dry for the ordinary music fan: It's almost minute-by-minute detail of the The Beatles' aborted Let it Be sessions in which they were being filmed for a documentary.

Not only do you get to learn about details about The Beatles musicianship, song craftmanship and songwriting, but you also learn about what The Beatles were watching or listening to.

Like anyone, they come in and talk about the programs on the TV the night before or whatever albums they're listening to -- Cream, Bob Dylan and The Band, particularly "Music From Big Pink," released in 1968.

It seemed to be a favorite of George Harrison, but listened to by all involved. This is most interesting because at this time, Harrison was probably writing the best songs of his life, most of which would be included on the 1970 album, "All Things Must Pass."

Overall, I kinda think The Band's overrated.

'Children of a Lesser God'

Does Marlee Matlin just sit at home and wait for roles of deaf people?

I mean, if you have a movie or TV show that has a deaf or hard of hearing person involved, don't you think of the one actress who is deaf and has an Oscar?

With Robert DeNiro, there's always Dustin Hoffman, Al Pacino and Jack Nicholson in terms of people of your same ilk and ability. With Matlin, there's no one.

This was nominated for a bunch of awards and I don't know why. And could they have picked a more dramatic title?

'The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari'

A pretty fucked up movie, to say the least.

In this little project, it's interesting to think that of all other art forms, film is the one that we understand and know its origins. For all intents and purposes, we can see the complete and total evolution of film from its infancy to current day.

You can not say the same for books, music, sculpture or painting.

Needless to say, had I been a 12 year old in 1920 and I saw this film, a newbie to film, I would've wet myself watching this film. Between the grainy black and white production, the fade outs and the creepy imagery, it would scare the stink off a homeless person. Moreso, there's something grotesque about the entire affair. Whether it's the make-up or the fact that it's German. Extremely German.

I wonder what a youngish Adolf Hitler thought about the film?

'The Barbarian Invasions'

If you're looking for "Barbarians" or "Invasions," do not rent this movie.

If you want to see one of the better movies made in the last 10 years, check it out.

A heartaching tale of an estranged father, friend and husband, who finds himself at death's door. The son who never lived up to his father's personal aspirations comes home to heal old wounds and to ease his father into the afterlife.

As the film continues, there are subtle comments about aging, death, socialism, love, sex and drugs.

At times, the film plays a little hokey as all these friends (mysteriously absent at the beginning) come out of the woodworks -- seemingly too busy or far away to see their old bohemian running buddy, they seem like they're always at the hospital with seemingly no jobs or famalial responsibilities.

Anyway, fantastic film and well worth every second.

'Scissor Sisters'

Reading about Scissor Sisters you learn that the members really don't want to be defined as a "gay" band (being as three of the members are homosexual).

To me, this is an odd statement because I feel what I like about Scissor Sisters (the melodies, the vocals, the witty lyrics, the club-based music) is maybe influenced by their sexual orientation.

And I'm totally not trying to be insensitive or anything like that, but I get the distinct feeling that the Scissor Sisters are who they are because of ... well, who they are. Doesn't sound completely insane when you think about it.

Furthermore, I am disappointed by the bass player -- one, "Babydaddy" -- because he is allegedly gay, but he seems too fat and bearded to be gay. But that's just me.

'Remedy'

I've had a long-standing question about certain hubs of commerce: How do places such as toy stores or pet stores survive?

Furthermore, how do they find that they can have so many locations, often so close together?

Are you telling me that on any given day folks are needing to buy toys? Or people are waking up and on their to-do list is picking up a pet parakeet or lizard food?

Not that pet and toy stores probably don't serve a purpose. But do they need to be open seven days a week for 18 hours at a time? Probably not.

Thus, I bring you to electronic/house music. Do millions of people buy this and listen to it or use it all the time? Is this needed? Seems like we could do with less of it.

'Dig Me Out'

There's a scene in my favorite film "High Fidelity" where the characters are mesmerized by a songstress taking on an acoustic version of Peter Frampton's "Baby, I Love Your Way." The fellas opine about wanting to date a musician. The perks escalate from living with the musician and giving feedback (them not being musicians themselves, but critics) about songs, getting inside jokes in the linear notes and even getting your picture on the inside of the CD cover.

These are the things guys really care about when they love girl bands or girl musicians.

I've respected two girl-mainly bands in my life: Sleater-Kinney and Veruca Salt.

For years I wanted to bed one of the members of these groups, but I realized soon that it was to no avail because whereas male rock stars will sleep with anything, female rock stars tend to be choosy and why would they pick my great personality over some other guy's coolness or ability to touch the net of a basketball hoop?

Then you learn that many are lesbians or, at least, bisexual. So not only are you having to compete against every better looking guy, but you also have to compete against the supple buttocks, the soft breasts and the heaven that is the vagina. All three of which are simply irresistible to any human.

So, all I have to say to Sleater-Kinney is that you missed out ... big time.

'3 Years, 5 Months & 2 Days In the Life Of ...'

Here's a fun story from the life of a kid growing up in rural Texas listening to pop radio: I owned this record when it came out in 1992.

"Tennessee," I assume, was the first single off the record and it's so stinking catchy that I had to own it. So I bought it, probably at Wal-Mart.

That tape is gone now.

Re-listening to it now, I realize I was way above my head in terms of getting Arrested Development. Very spiritual, very political, socially-concious and looking to make changes in the way white and black people thought about each other.

But at 12 years old (and white) was a slave to the melody only.

Now, I consider this Cosby music: Music that Bill Cosby would love because it's so Afro-centric and positive. Plus, can't you just imagine Dwayne Wayne from "Different World" jamming to this?

'The Hound of the Baskervilles'

Again, isn't Sherlock Holmes kind of a dick? I mean, he completely uses poor Watson -- a doctor, no less -- as if he were some useless pawn. And as a means of placating his friend, Holmes tells Watson how invaluable he is and blah, blah, blah.

If I were Watson I would ask Holmes who the doctor was and go on my way. Especially if I'm having to travel halfway across the country to stay at some one-horse town in some spooky house where people are dying left and right.

And how much is Watson being reimbursed? Does he get like 20 percent of whatever Holmes is making?

Also, why was the escaped convict treated with such little regard. Was he created for the sole purpose of weaving the web of the story and arbitrarily lived and died along with the ebb and flow of the story? How cruel, even for a murderer.

'Lady Soul'

It's solid, but not nearly has good as her earlier albums.

I tend to question the inclusion of "Groovin'." But whatever.

I also tend to think her vocals aren't has exemplary as they are on other albums. "

However, between "Chain of Fools," "People Get Ready," "A Natural Woman," "Since You've Been Gone" and others, it's really hard to split hairs over good and really good.

'Hiroshima Mon Amour'

It's interesting how the world changed once the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima in 1945.

It changed the way we looked at war, it changed the way we lived, it changed the way we look at the atomic bomb as a weapon.

For years, the world's powers rushed to make their own little atomic bomb like a bunch of hens guarding an egg. Trying to be the first. Once they made it, perfected it and dropped it, everything would go their way.

I honestly think the Americans dropped it and said, "Oh shit, what did we do?" That's precisely why it hasn't been used sense. The political theory behind the power of the atomic bomb has little to do with heat, energy and death as much as it has to do with the idea of heat, energy or death. Had the Nazis made and dropped the bomb before the Americans I doubt very much that the world would've stood in their way much longer and Nazis would not have had any problem dropping it again.

Although we'd like to consider Americans as the psychotic guy in "Dr. Strangelove" straddling the A-bomb like a horse riding it and waving our cowboys hats, and as much as many Americans leaders would like to be perceived this way, high up on the food chain, everyone knows that the A-bomb can never be used again by an established, world leader.

All of this, plus the fact that the movie poster was fantastic.

'Close To You'

Gonna be honest here, I really like the Carpenters. Always kinda have, even as a teenager.

I mean, if it was uncool in 1973 for a teen to like the Carpenters, imagine 1996. Not only was it uncool, but most of my peers didn't even really know who the Carpenters were.

My fascination of the Carpenters has two origins.

One is the film "Tommy Boy" when Chris Farley's and David Spade's characters awkwardly land on "Superstar" as they're driving, trying to divorce themselves unsuccessfully from loving the song. Eventually, they end up singing it with much vim and vigor.

Two, I saw the "The Karen Carpenter Story" on TV and I thought it really sad that someone as pretty and talented as Karent Carpenter was so sad.

Anyway, how can anyone not like the Carpenters? Who does like infectious melodies, borderline corny lyrics and breathtaking vocals? It's like not liking ice cream.

Plus, Karen played the drums. At the time, that seems really appealing to me.

'Songs for Swingin' Lovers'

What do Frank Sinatra, Bob Marley, The Doors, Janis Joplin and others have in common?

They're all overrated in my book.

Not that they're bad. Sinatra is a fine singer. On the other hand, Stevie Ray Vaughn was a shitty singer, but at the very least he wrote songs and he was an extremely good guitar player.

Sinatra didn't write songs, play an instrument or do anything other than go on stage and sing standards. He doesn't have extraordinary vocal range.

There's something to be said about style. There is a reason he's more popular than the rest of the Rat Pack or singers of his ilk. He was extremely good looking, ventured into acting and basically rode a wave of cool all the way to the bank.

'400 Blows'

Rarely will I not enjoy a film set in Paris. But nonetheless, I'm becoming a fan of the foreign film, especially of the French persuasion.

I'm especially loving the output of director Francois Truffaut. This is a really well made movie with some fantastic shots, and considering a lot of the film is shot in a dingy, cramped apartment, that's quite a feat.

Otherwise, I'm a fan of the French language and landscape and I can immerse myself in both in "400 Blows."

'Highway 61 Revisited' & 'The Freewheelin' ...'

These two albums were released by Bob Dylan within two years of each other ("Highway ..." in 1965 and "Freewheelin' ..." in 1963).

What a juxtaposition. The guy essentially reinvented himself from being a ramblin' folkie to being a legit rock and roll artist.

Not that the folk wasn't good and there are some great performances on "Freewheelin'" but it's hard to beat what he does on "Highway 61" and late on "Blonde on Blonde" and event getting country fried for "Nashville Skyline."

Thank goodness that Dylan went electric. But, more so, thank goodness for Dylan. You could probably point to The Beatles and probably The Rolling Stones as the only musical artists to evolve so quickly within a short time period. It's quite extraordinary to see it ... but it's far more interesting to listen to it.

'Mrs. 'Arris Goes to Paris'

This may be the only time I use this adjective on this blog: Charming.

A sweet little short story about a charming, headstrong London housekeeper who wants nothing but a Dior dress. And then she proceeds to charm the pants off everyone she meets.

A comment on religion, fate and the thought that good things happen to good people.

Of course, it brings up the question of what is really important in life. Why can't thing be important, like dresses, cars, houses, watches and such?

I have a friend who makes a lot of money, but you'd look at him and not know the difference. He doesn't drive an expensive car or live in a large house. But he likes expensive pens. Yes, the utensils used for writing things. In no other part of his life does he spend large amounts of money except on pens.

So what's wrong with that? We're taught not to overly value merchandise and consumer products, but to instead embrace religion, family, friends, etc. But in the end, we can take neither (the family and such and the ephemeral items, too) with us to the grave.

'Like Water For Chocolate'

Keeping my eyes on the thighs/of Mary J. Blige

I wonder if Common has read "Like Water For Chocolate." I would like him a lot more than I do now if he has. Either way. Great album.

'The Postman Always Rings Twice'

Lana Turner is a fine piece of ass. Just no two ways about it. Take Marilyn Monroe or whoever else, I'll take Turner any day of the week.

Speaking of, couldn't have Cora done better than John Garfield's character? I get why she married Nick: He was the sugardaddy. But Frank? What an ogre!

However, I guess when you're a total nut, not many guys will go after you. Frank, himself, says that one point he should've just walked away. There were about a dozen points when Frank should've walked away and Nick, too, was pretty dense when it came to the boiling pot of water he was continually hanging over.

'La Princesse de Clèves'

Read it and you're underwhelmed.

Read about how it changed writing and the novel forever and you take a second look. It makes you reevaluate the characters and the prose.

It was also immensely popular in its day as fans had to wait months before getting a copy. Of course, how many people in 1680 could actually read?

'Seven Brides for Seven Brothers'

I borrowed this from my mom, which should indicate how awesome my weekend was.

A good film because of the mention of Plutarch and in spite of the poorly done fake beards.