'Dig Me Out'

There's a scene in my favorite film "High Fidelity" where the characters are mesmerized by a songstress taking on an acoustic version of Peter Frampton's "Baby, I Love Your Way." The fellas opine about wanting to date a musician. The perks escalate from living with the musician and giving feedback (them not being musicians themselves, but critics) about songs, getting inside jokes in the linear notes and even getting your picture on the inside of the CD cover.

These are the things guys really care about when they love girl bands or girl musicians.

I've respected two girl-mainly bands in my life: Sleater-Kinney and Veruca Salt.

For years I wanted to bed one of the members of these groups, but I realized soon that it was to no avail because whereas male rock stars will sleep with anything, female rock stars tend to be choosy and why would they pick my great personality over some other guy's coolness or ability to touch the net of a basketball hoop?

Then you learn that many are lesbians or, at least, bisexual. So not only are you having to compete against every better looking guy, but you also have to compete against the supple buttocks, the soft breasts and the heaven that is the vagina. All three of which are simply irresistible to any human.

So, all I have to say to Sleater-Kinney is that you missed out ... big time.