'Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit'

I slightly relate to the protagonist, Jeanette, in Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit, Jeanette Winterson's first novel.

It follows the life of Jeanette (a novel that tells the story of a person from childhood to adulthood is called a bildungsroman ... did not know this), who is adopted by a couple in the English countryside in a evangelical Christian community.

At a young age, Jeanette is groomed to go abroad as a missionary by her devout mother and her father, who is largely absent working odd hours.

As a child, Jeanette is active in her religious community, even preaching in tent revivals. Around the time of her adolescence, she begins experimenting with certain relationships with other women. Initially, there's nothing explicit, but it's understood and Christians have the capacity for overreacting.

She eventually repents and returns to her preaching ways until she meets another young woman and begins an affair with her. This time she refuses to repent and leaves the church and his kicked out of her house. The story ends with her returning to her home. There she has found some kind of balance with her still-devout mother, who is a bit jaded after a series of controvesies hit the church community.

I relate because I too was raised in the evangelical church. Speaking on tongues. Loud music with many instruments, no matter how well they were played. People dancing and clapping. There were other manisfestations of the Holy Spirit. Like crying and laughing.

Looking back and talking with friends, we're a lot more skeptical of the entire thing. I personally feel it was all real or all possible. I just don't think it was possible for me or for most of the people I associated with. As much as it was a place for spiritual growth, it was also a time of growth ... physically. We were all teenagers and no matter how much the Lord works through us, we still like a lot of crap that Jesus probably wasn't into during his 33 years on Earth.

It was a tumultuous time. A lot of hypocrisy, anger and ego. I was once told that if I ever found the "perfect" church then I should tell everyone because it's what we're all looking for.

I don't regret that time in my life. I just wish I had my current mindset during that time. For years, I blurred the line between a belief in God and all these little things that mean nothing. Like acting a certain way, developing certain "gifts" (like speaking tongues) and all of the work. They say that faith is important, but works are foolhardy. If you go from being a visitor or someone "unsaved" to being a member of a congregation, there are certain expectations and if those aren't met, there is real hell to pay.

Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit is at least semi-autobiographical. Winterson herself was raised in such a community and left after she announced that she was a lesbian. She worked odd jobs and eventually went to college.

My experience was different, but it was my experience and I'm happy to know that I am not alone.