'Forrest Gump'

Of all the impersonations in this world, anyone doing Forrest Gump makes me want to jam sharpened into my eardrums.

As I've seen this film over and over since its release 16 years ago, it's gotten worse and worse. It comes off a really sentimental and too crisp and clean American.

On one level, it's a comment on American during its, arguably, most tumultuous time in its short history. From the 1940s-1990s, you had assassinations and assassination attempts, a revolt among every non-white, non-male group, rock 'n' roll, AIDS, pointless wars and enough hate and bitterness to sink any lesser nation. It was bad times.

Forrest Gump puts a happy face on these events. And that's unfair.

For example, when Forrest is at Alabama and they are desegregating the college, he walks upon the crowd standing around George Wallace.

Forrest: What's going on?

Earl: Coons are tryin' to get into school.

Forrest: Coons? When racoons try to get on our back porch, Momma just chase 'em off with a broom.

Earl: Not racoons, you idiot, niggers. And they want to go to school with us.

Forrest: With us? They do?

Obviously, this was a huge moment in American history and Gump thought a bunch of people were standing around as a groundskeeper ran off a bunch of hungry raccoons looking for a meal.

Later on, Forrest returns a war hero from Vietnam and winds up in front of a large crowd at a peace rally. They ask him his thoughts on the war. A saboteur pulls the plug on the microphone, so we don't know what's said.

Gump was oddly philosophical stemming from his simple-minded, kindergarten outlook on life and its problems. He thought it odd that people would be standing around watching a black person enter an all-white school. Or he found it odd that with all the hubbub, that it wasn't a bunch of raccoons.

Maybe Gump had some serious, insightful thoughts about this madness. Maybe like Brian in Life of Brian, he was an unnoticed messiah, except when he added some disciples during his running. When he finally finds his closure and quits, they are disappointed that there wasn't some grand epiphany. Little did they know they were following a retarded guy.

It's not a great film, but it is a good film to talk about.

By the way, could you imagine Bill Murray, John Travolta or Chevy Chase as Forrest? Me neither. That would've been a disaster.