'Dracula'

Really disappointed in this film. Somehow they made a worse movie than "Nosferatu" 10 years earlier.

What I do appreciate about vampire movies is that the victims typically don't know what they're getting into as they shouldn't. Someone being an undead being that lives on blood, doesn't have a reflection and can't handle crosses, sunlight and holy water is completely and utterly unrealistic. No one would ever imagine encountering a vampire, even today as popular as they are.

Of course, if I see a guy that lives in a creepy castle and wears tall-collared capes, I'd be mightily suspicious.

'Time Out'

I am a sucker for the TimeLife music infomercials. The best time to watch them was late at night when they would buy a whole hour of TV time to try and get some sucker college kid or jobless guy to buy the best of country and western or praise and worship music.

My favorite was the jazz collection. And one of my favorite eight seconds worth was music was the main saxophone riff from The Dave Brubeck Quartet's "Take Five" from "Time Out."

I always thought the guy playing sax was Brubeck, but I later learned that it was Paul Desmond and, in fact, Brubeck was the piano player.

Listening to the entire album and you realize that Brubeck is a fantastic player and he looks like the coolest guy in the room. The type of guy that you'd want to be around because he was probably nerdy enough to be humbled, but awesome enough to be cooler than you.

'Gabbeh'

I want to go to Iran.

I want to go and hug everyone over there. Talk kindly to them and show them that this life ain't so bad and that if we all get together, work hard, be nice to one another and live everyday as we if were the luckiest sons of bitches in the universe, then we can get along.

Their current tumult aside, Iran seems like an inhospitable country. Closed off. Angry. Jaded.

In fact, the people aside, it's a beautiful country. One that they should want to share with the world and knock people's socks off as a true destination and a magnificent evidence of God's goodness and creation.

Alas, their abhorrence for anything not Iranian and not part of their culture is so frightening and demonized that it may never work. 'Tis a shame.

'Dangerous Liaisons'

What a pretentious piece of shit.

I just imagine this director and producer thinking they can spend big money on Glenn Close, period clothing and some over-the-top score and just wow crowds.

This film is all hot air. Starting from the title. "Dangerous Liaisons." Sounds like a after dark softcore porn from Cinemax.

The characters suck. Little Keanu Reeves is trying to act. Michell Pfeiffer emotes like a junior high girl after getting dumped for the first time. The story is ultra lame. Close looks like a warmed over sea hag.

There is not one single edifying aspect to this film except for John Malkovich getting run through and taking 45 minutes to die and the ending credits.

'Baby One More Time'

On this blog, I talk a lot about films, books and records all released before I was even born.

It is an honor, however, to be able to talk about music or movies that were right in my wheelhouse. Britney Spears is in my wheelhouse.

It was my freshman year of college when she released "Baby One More Time" and the video for the song of the same name.

Needless to say, it drove all our pants crazy watching her in the short plaid schoolgirl skirt dancing and singing despite the fact that I wasn't necessarily attracted to her because she looks like she has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

Anyway, I do remember the timeline for Spears. There was the innocent, Mickey Mouse club album and then the edgier second album and then she went super-sexy with the leather outfits and songs that hinted at bondage and all that.

With all that (and the head shaving and other crazy moments), we forget that first album and just how gigantic and important it was as a piece of teen-bop Americana.

First off, we'd like to think, as adults, that music directed at teenagers (whether it's Frankie Avalon, Dion, the Patridge Family, New Kids on the Block, Spears, N'Sync or the Jonas Brothers) is passe and beyond us. However, as noted, this music has been around forever and it'll be around in 100 years.

Secondly, listening to this album, it was shocking to realize how much sex Spears was already selling despite the innocent, girl-next-door exterior.

Look at the album cover. Where do your eyes go. If you don't say between her legs into the black hole in her skirt, then you are lying.

Open up the liner notes. Fold it out. What do you see. It's an extra-large photo of Spears in a seemingly innocent pair of jeans (oddly very bulky in the crotch area) and tank top. However, the part that you see when you first start unfolding the notes is her bulky crotch.

Spears is about sex. She's always been about sex. Frankly, it's unfair.

'The Thin Man'

Did not recognize the great Cesar Romero without his purple suit and white make-up.

This is a really good film. Particularly because of Myrna Loy and William Powell as Nick and Nora. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought the two were married themselves or had been together for 25 years. Their chemistry is electric. It jumps off the screen. It gets to the point that you wish the two had more scenes together.

It's part humor, but there seems to be a genuine love for each other. When Nora worries about Nick, you really feel that Myrna wishes Williams would just stay home and be safe.

Reading more about Powell, he was a really great actor getting three Best Actor nods from the Academy, but, alas, never winning. He also got to do dirty stuff to not only Jean Harlow, but Carole Lombard.

'The Crying Game'

War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

Watching "The Crying Game" and "No Man's Land" would be a pretty good study in the nature of war. There's seemingly arbitrary sides and people fight for something they feel is right. Typically, these people are cut from the same crust, both pawns for politicans and leaders seeking more of whatever they're after.

Typically. The American Civil War was a good fight, right (the bigger question being how civil is war anyway?)? Slavery? How about World War II?

War and fighting may never be abolished. It will exist forever. But I guess the point is can't we cut out the small junk that lasts forever and ever? How long did the IRA go around fighting and bombing, killing folks for no particular reason? Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Co. did more sitting at lunch counters and getting beaten with fire hose blasts in a decade than the IRA did in 100 years.

The structure of this film is also unusual being that half the movie is building up to the true story: the Irish guy going to London and looking after the English soldier's girlfriend. Or whatever. It's a film in two parts.

I also like that with the sub-head of "Sex. Betrayal. Murder." that there were a lot of Americans going to the movies not expecting a current events lesson on Ireland.

It does suck that all the movie posters are of Rita Skeeter, who was the biggest non-character in the whole film.

'The Battleship Potemkin'

It's interesting that, as Americans, we demonize communists, and, to be more exact, the then Soviet Union.

The Cold War explains much of this. I think the absence of capitalism plays into this. Rarely do you hear Americans decrying communism for the oppressive and violent regimes in which millions die and millions other suffer.

Anyway, what's ironic is that the communist government in the Soviet Union was the Romanovs, particularly Nicholas II, who disregarded his people, was anti-Semitic, a war monger and a general dick.

This, however, everyone in the world could live with.

I don't feel sorry for Nick II. "The Battleship Potemkin" tells the story of an incident that took place in the 1905 revolution, which didn't stick. Twelve years late, one would stick. You'd think Nick and Co. would have learned their lesson. You can't keep a good proletariat down.

'Cry, The Beloved Country'

A perfect companion novel for "A Passage to India." Just another tale of how the West has gone into "third-world" countries and just kinda screwed everything up.

However, there's a bigger question of justice, faith, family, nature vs. nurture and forgiveness.

Per justice, it is shocking how poorly the systems in yesteryear were run. I mean, today's system ain't perfect even in the most fair, forward-thinking countries.

But we're basically working with a system that's always broke and will never be fixed. Unless we morph into feelingless androids, it'll never be perfect. By then, hopefully, they'll be able to program us to not kill each other.

'Grave of the Fireflies'

Several years back, I had no real issue with seeing children in film, books or whatever be injured or killed.

God, you write it and it sounds 100 times more callous. But it's how I felt. I could read a book about the Holocaust or watch a film and not get too caught up in it.

Now, I have a two-and-a-half-year-old and it makes me sick to my stomach to see harm done to a child. Sometimes I can't even watch it.

"Grave of the Fireflies" is tough. It's extremely sad and you're just hoping and waiting for the war to be over so they can get back to some normalcy and live. Then it falls apart and it haunts you for the rest of the week.

'Sunset Boulevard'

Watching these old films, I'm finding several things going on: The trend of unlikable leading men.
Nothing against Spencer Tracy's, Cary Grant's or Robert Mitchum's overall appeal, but they look a billion times better than William Holden, a guy I've liked before. He's a miserable, small man in this film and, frankly, when the former starlet shot him in the back and he fell in the pool (why did they ruin the ending in the beginning?), I was pretty pleased. I didn't mind at all. The dude deserved it.

All the while, Joe Gillis held himself as some down-and-out screenwriter that if he didn't have bad luck he wouldn't have any luck at all. What a phony.

Absolutely loved the card game scene with Buster Keaton, playing himself, which still seems he's playing someone else.

'Cheap, Fast and Out of Control'

A very interesting concept for a documentary. Taking these very specialized individuals and talking about what they do and how they do it.

I think people with interesting jobs that they do well is extremely noble. I feel like we need more topiary artists out there in lieu of more accountants and lawyers. There's something about doing exactly what you like and doing it well.

But I think we can learn something from these people about production and how their world's function as mini-worlds in this gigantic big world. Almost cut off.

'Modern Life is Rubbish'

As part of this project, I listen, read and watch way more than I'm writing and posting.

I'm about 20 or so books, movies and records behind posting them on this blog mostly because I can spread it longer and waste more time at work and because I seek a little inspiration before posting.

I had initially sought out Blur after watching the documentary about the 1990s BritPop scene, "Live Forever."

Then I was just told an anecdote from a friend about being at one of the local Apple stores and hearing a Blur song over the store speakers. He said something and the Apple employee said that Steve Jobs picks out all the music for the Apple stores and he especially likes Blur.

Steve Jobs and I have at least one thing in common.

'The Libertines'

Listening to The Libertine's eponymous debut, I started to think about lead singer Pete Doherty.

Last I heard he was busted again for drugs. His struggle with hardcore drug use is infamous.

It's funny (not funny "ha ha") that we hold musicians on a different level than most other people. We typically love good music. But couldn't a direct correlation between good music and drug and alcohol abuse be drawn.

When did The Beatles get really good? When they started doing drugs. I read that Brian Wilson started smoking weed while recording "Today!" which preceded their finest works in "Pet Sounds," "Surf's Up," "Wild Honey," and other classic Beach Boy albums.

Would Kurt Cobain's music been as aching, tragic and violent if he was shoot up heroin? We'll never know. Maybe he kills himself earlier and we never get "Nevermind."

Granted, Doherty is no John Lennon, Cobain or Wilson.

But have the Red Hot Chili Peppers been better off heroin? Is Aerosmith better or worse without alcohol? Some would make the argument that both -- although more popular -- had a drop in creativity once they went clean.

On one level, we demand our artists to be dope fiends or alcoholics, whether we mean to or not.

'The Thin Blue Line'

Is it shocking at all that I had never, ever heard of this case even though there was an acclaimed documentary made about it and that it happened in the city I grew up near and lived in?

I guess there's probably a lot that happens in our backyard that we don't know about it. It's this that probably keeps us sane. Ignorance is bliss.

I was watching this film and was disgusted by the legal system that I think gets it right a vast majority of the time. Currently, Dallas County is basically auditing a ton of old cases I guess based on evidence through the Innocence Project and a number of people are being released after 20-odd years in jail.
Why is all of this happening in Dallas? Is our good ol' boy structure so deep and hasty that a guy can't get a fair shake? Remember, this case addressed in "The Thin Blue Line" has nothing to do with race. Just a knee-jerk desire to see people burn.

Watching the documentary and you just feel sick for the guy when every ounce of evidence points to the kid from Vidor (a horrible little pimple of a city).

'The Day the Earth Stood Still'

I walked away from this film asking, "Was that it?"

The spaceship lands, chaos ensues, the alien has a message, kinda gets delivered and he leaves. And his message is pretty much stop fighting each other. Thanks spaceman! Wow. I'm glad we had an intergalactic Plato to come tell us that nuclear war was bad.

Anyway, even if it is a message film (damn near propaganda), it could at least have a story.

It did drive me crazy that not only was the alien human but he spoke good English because of all the, apparently, American radio they listened to a billion light years away. Hell, I can't even get an AM signal in my car.

Again, I don't understand the people in books and movies that gather around an alien spacecraft, much like the scene in Victorian England during "War of the Worlds." If a space ship lands on Earth, I'm going to be as far away from it as possible.

'Synecdoche, New York'

One recent film added for the sake of adding highly regraded films on an updated 1,001 list.

Remember the film "Vanilla Sky" where Tom Cruise's character is deformed in the car accident and pays the company to essentially freeze his body, but still have his mind living in some alternate universe that only exists in his own head.

The thing is, Cruise's character had to indicate to the company when he wanted to start the alternate reality. Unfortunately, the viewer doesn't know when this happens and so we believe the alternate reality is the reality reality never realizing the alternate had started.

This is how I feel about "Synecdoche, New York." I knew the other reality was coming and instead of there being a break or a moment when you knew it happened, it just happened. As if there was no reality reality. All there is is this odd, alterno-reality.

This is a really great film and Phillip Seymour Hoffman is fantastic and the merry-go-round of characters and twists is confusing at times, but it's worth watching.

'The General' & 'Our Hospitality' & 'Sherlock Jr.'

I think my friend Garrison looks like Buster Keaton.

Anyway, when I first mentioned to a friend that I was going through some Keaton films, he noted how much of an athlete Keaton was. Boy, isn't that the truth. Watch the train sequence when he's trying to fire the cannon from the back of his engine in "The General." The physical prowess of the man is remarkable. Anyone can be a physical comedian (look at the Three Stooges), but not many can pull off the raw physicality of carrying an entire action scene for 10+ minutes.

"Sherlock Jr." is probably my favorite from these three. It's really funny, which is only odd because I've not taken a lot from the silent films I've viewed. I recognize what they meant to the medium, but I never came away thinking, "Wow, what an awesome movie!"

Keaton's film are legitimately funny. The scene where he's sweeping out the trash from the theater and finds the dollar only to have the women come and claim it. When the tall, thick man comes around, he assumes he's looking for his dollar so Keaton's character gives him cash out of his own pocket. Unfortunately, the man had lost his entire wallet with a handful of money in it.

Keaton comes off as the lovable loser without having to hear a word. His hang dog face just oozes empathy.

'The Long, Dark Teatime of the Soul'

Since reading the "Hitchhikers" series and then the two Dirk Gently stories, I've come to the very real conclusion that Douglas Adams is sort of a hack.

He's pretty much a poor man's Kurt Vonnegut. Except Vonnegut can write and Adams kinda crafts these sprawling stories that are supposed to be some comment on the absurdity of human behavior. That's about it. Which makes him a poor man's Vonnegut. Or maybe he's a British man's Vonnegut.

I know that Adams is trying to say something, but what do Norse gods coming to Earth to wreak havoc (for no reason?) trying to say? That the Norse are angry?

And then the twist that Odin had in fact sold out and been paid to advertise for soda? None of it ever makes sense.

'The Apartment'

This film was 88 times darker than what I thought it would be.

I thought it was a happy go lucky Jack Lemmon flick and Shirley MacLaine was going to act all cute (oh, and she is sooooooo cute) and Fred MacMurray was going to act like he does.

Instead, it was all about loneliness, sex, adultery and suicide. In fact, it's not very funny at all and except for the final scene (in which we assume our heroes hook up ... and play cards) it was an extremely dark and daunting film.

If you're looking for a laugh or something light hearted, pass up "The Apartment." It's still good, however.

'Scarface'

There is no doubt that if I were a 10-year-old kid in 1932, I would've loved "Scarface."

What I found most interesting is the short introduction denouncing the gangsters and the power they held in America's cities.

Then they proceeded to glorify the gangster lifestyle and even make the gangster's kinda funny in a very physical way (the Italian cohort that can't really speak English, but is told to answer phones and he later is in a funny scene where his hat is shot off answering a phone).

Reading more about it, the intro and the subtitle, "The Shame of the Nation," were added later so as the movie wouldn't glorify the gangster lifestyle, which it does anyway without or without the intro and subtitle. A very ridiculous plan, indeed.

'The Good, The Bad And The Ugly'

I've thoroughly enjoyed the westerns I've watched as part of this project. Particularly the spaghetti westerns from Sergio Leone.

It's just that they're so well done on so many different levels. Westerns had never been so well done before and they'll never be that good again. Mostly because it's not about the technology available in film making.

Essentially, the western is worn, dirty and bare bones as the sand and grit that Clint Eastwood spits out with every long stare and knowing smirk. You don't need anything fancy to make a good western ... just a good story and good director. The acting can be halfassed and the story doesn't have to be that good, but you need a guy behind the camera that knows how to capture the setting and sell the crowd that this land is as unforgiving and hateful as hell itself. The Coen brothers nailed it with "No Country for Old Men."

'A Love Supreme'

John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme" is probably one of the top 10 or so pieces of art by an American. Ironically, Coltrane himself couldn't sit at just any lunch counter or drink from just any water fountain in many parts of the country.

The most compelling part of listening to this album is reading the linear notes which includes, on my copy (a live rendition in France), a little write up from noted jazz enthusiast and French painter Jacques Chesnel. The short essay is printed in French on one side and English on the other. Fortunately, they put little effort into translating the French and it comes off like French prose in English and, needless to say, the two don't gel together.

It's an interesting read for sure even if the translations are a bit skewed. And the spelling haphazard.

'Eraserhead'

A complete waste of two of my hours.

'Bonnie and Clyde'

Faye Dunaway was a fox of the highest order. I'm enjoying her work.

Another good Warren Beatty film. I don't find Bonnie and Clyde terribly interesting and I don't find the film very interesting because I found out they took a number of liberties with actual people (not necessarily events). Frankly, if you have to rework stuff to make it interesting then it probably wasn't interesting to begin with.

I do find it interesting that nowadays they don't have shootouts involving major criminals. The Bonnie and Clyde thing and the John Dillinger shoot out in front of the movie theater would never, ever happen these days.

In fact, these days, you rob a bank and they allow you just to walk out and if you engage in a high-speed chase, they let you go to protect citizens. Back then, they just blew you away.

'Rashomon'

Funny thing, the story took about a third of the time to read than it took to watch the film.

The film is excellent. It has an authenticity to it and it tackles complex issues of truth and justice. I liked it, but if you've got 25 minutes to spare, just polish off the book first.

It also gets triple good points for having a kick-ass movie poster.

'Beau Travail'

I thought this was a really good film. What I liked most is the setting (northern Africa) and the group of actors.

The film is about a commander of a platoon of Foreign Legionnaires, who grows envious of one of his soldiers due to his physical and social beauty. With the chance to destroy the soldier, the commander intentionally almost kills him and is court martialed and, we assume, kills himself.

For one, I really liked the platoon of guys. I read that one of them was actually in the Foreign Legion and, thus, knew exercises and whatnot so it looked incredibly real.

Of course, the more I thought about it, I'm kinda gay in regards to this movie. It took about a day to realize that every scene there are young, fit males in either really short shorts, Speedos, no shirts all sweaty and glistening in the African sun. Then, the conflict between the commander and soldier is extremely homosexual in nature. At least on the commander's part.

So the question here is: Am I gay?

'Koyaanisqatsi'

I get and like this film. It's very thought provoking, which I assume was the point.

I guess I feel a little conflicted about things. Am I or us as a society supposed to feel bad about how we live? Ashamed? Remorseful?

The subtitle for this film is "Live Out of Balance" which may be a comment on how we, humans, live or how our lifestyles have knocked the Earth out of balance. Probably both.

But then again, I watched this film on my computer on Hulu. Is that part of the balance?

I guess I don't get how people feel about our environment and culture. Are we supposed to change things or just realize that things are out of balance, which is better than just living in ignorance under the illusion that everything's OK.

I just feel a film is part of the reason everything's out of balance so it's part of the problem, not the solution (which we don't even know what that is anyway).

'All About Eve'

Old people like to pretend that in their heyday society was generally better. I honestly do not believe a Paris Hilton-type would be regarded very highly in 1950s Hollywood, but that may have less to do with Hollywood and the sensibilities of the 1950s society as much as it has to do with media.

It's not that 1950s society were not obsessesed with their movie stars but they had only so many venues in which to read about and learn more about them -- magazines and the actual movies they make.

Today, we have the movies, magazines, Internet, TV, newspapers, gossip rags and an endless cornucopia of celebrity fodder, which thus allows the scope of celebrity to expand. Paris Hilton is only famous because there's a medium for her and an audience that cares.

However, the mania was the same in the 1950s. "All About Eve" is all about a desperate and conniving woman who would go to all ends of lying and blackmail to become rich and famous. This just wasn't a film, but a comment, I think, on American society and our ideas about fame, glamour and money. All of this was not foreign to the 1950s movie goer and it still has value today.

Also, love the Marilyn Monroe role. Extremely hot in this role.

'Parachutes' & 'A Rush of Blood to the Head'

Any band or musical artist responsible for the quality of the following lyrics should be disregarded:

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

Christ almighty. I've always thought Coldplay were awful but after going through two of their albums (considered to be their best) I now know it for sure.

Not that Coldplay are completely without value. They're soul-less. They're soft rock. They have no meat. No depth.

They're popular because they know how to write at least one catchy melody and there's a mirage of being rock despite being soft rock. Trust me, in 20 years, a soft rock radio station will be going through the catalog of Coldplay like crazy.

I think their value lies in the fact that maybe some young teenager learning to play the guitar latches onto Coldplay. Like myself, they might graduate to more meatier, important and good music like Radiohead or The Beatles.

'Marty'

Have you ever had a film where in the first five minutes you automatically loved a character? That's part of the charm with the 1955 Best Picture Oscar winner "Marty." Never in film have I wanted something good to happen to a character as much as I did with Marty.

I have several life moments concerning this film.

As part of this project I watched the film "Quiz Show" in which John Turturro's character is asked to intentionally miss a question as part of this TV game show. The question is what film won the Best Picture Oscar in 1955?

Turturro's character knew the answer but missed it anyway. So all through the movie Turturro attempts to get his spot back by arguing that he had seen "Marty" a number of times and it was impossible for him not to know the answer.

Also, in the 1990s I watched the sitcom "Single Guy," the Jonathan Silverman vehicle where Ernest Borgnine played the lovable doorman. Of course, then, I didn't know who Borgnine was or that he was an accomplished actor in Hollywood. Kinda just thought he was a bit actor in a not-so-bad sitcom. A shame.

What's most fascinating about this film is that it won the Best Picture Oscar in 1955. Not that it's not deserving, but could you imagine a romantic comedy winning or even being nominated nowadays? It's ridiculous to think as such.

I have a friend who's a movie buff and he doesn't watch or even consider the Oscars because it's not about the best film anymore ... it's about politics. You make a film about war or the Holocaust or some half-decent epic and you're sure to be considered. All the while, there's great films being made all the time that aren't considered high brow enough. Watching "Marty" you realize he may be right.

'Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song'

I thought this was a pretty dumb and unwatchable film. I get that it probably means a lot more in context of the time and also of the African American zeitgeist of the "blaxploitation" film and art, but that doesn't make it not dumb.

Every time a kid uses crayons to draw something, just because it's his or her first drawing or because it's the greatest picture that that kid's ever drawn or we don't want to criticize because it might hurt his or her feelings doesn't mean it's not awful.

This film is bad and has little or no redeeming value and I can not be convinced otherwise despite there being enough evidence to the contrary.

'A Passage to India' & 'A Passage to India'

The book should be considered very important. It was published in 1924, essentially 20 year before the Indian independence movement came to a head.

It captures the attitudes between both the Indians and British during a very tumultuous time when the Western (Anglo) world hadn't gotten their comeuppance on one level and had it's head screwed on straight on another level.

It's shocking the attitude of the British, as if they were some all-knowing presence that the Indians welcomed because it represented a state of judiciousness, peace, order and civility. As if the Indian people hadn't participated in society the last 1,200 years. As if Africa wasn't going well without the Germans, Dutch, British, French and others. Same with the British and North America, the Spanish and Portuguese in South America and French and British in the Far East.

This attitude is prevalent in the United States and as been since the first boat landed 500 years ago or so. It's not unusual. People get too big for their britches all the time and don't realize there's a world that exists beyond the tip of their nose. It doesn't excuse the way the British treated the Indians, but it explains it.

I loved the part in the film when they host the "bridge" party and the British women want something translated and it turns out all the Indian women speak English.

Read Thomas Friedman's "The World is Flat" and you realize that not only do they speak English and are capable of, you know, a civil society, but they are just as prepared to lead this world as any America, England, Germany, Japan, China or Russia.

One interesting observation about the movie, which helps put the time period into a better focus, is how many clothes the British wore. Even during non-hot seasons in India, it's got to be pretty warm and there's a bunch of pretentious British people with long-sleeves, collars, pants, dresses and everything that would make me crazy.

'The Bicycle Thief'

Although this film is on the 1,001 list (and despite Netflix trying to push it down by throat) I didn't consider "The Bicycle Thief" until a couple of months ago when I read an article from the great Mexican actor Diego Luna on some of the films, music, art, et al. that he likes.

He mentions "The Bicycle Thief" as being a "laxative" and that whenever he feels shitty and down in the dumps, he watches it and realizes he has it pretty good.

This is a really emotional movie. It ranges from happiness (the son and father in the bar drinking wine) to contentedness (when the father and mother get their bike out of the pawn shop) and utter desperation (the entire rest of the film). It's beautifully acted by everyone involved (including and especially the kid).

Although the story ends on a sad, undetermined note, there is an aura of goodness and hope when the man does not call the police when our hero steals his bike. Despite everything, I felt better.

'Edward Scissorhands'

Tim Burton has done what every filmmaker, writer, musician or artist has ever wanted to do: Found his own voice.

I mean, if you consider every movie director the past 100 years and wondered how many had a style, who were true auteurs of the filmmaking craft, Burton is there.

You can watch a film without knowing who directed it and know if it is a Tim Burton film. Even "Big Fish" which isn't dark, has a sentimentality, a freshness and a darkness that breaths just below the surface despite it's brightness and joy that you know it's Burton.

"Edward Scissorhands," on the other hand (zing!) is typical Burton. It's extremely dark, but in a very whitewashed, senile, suburban kind of way. Stripe the parts about the old castle and the ending and it's a lot like "Big Fish" with the color schemes, lighting and general feel.

I liked this movie. Johnny Depp delivers an extremely likable monster and the co-stars (especially the parents and neighbors) pull off really good contrasting (corrupted) yings to Depp's yang.

'Glory'

If you watch any decent amount of TV or movies, there are certain films that you catch bits and pieces of for a number of years. In the end, you've probably seen 95-100 percent of the film but in different order with a hodgepodge of different scenes.

"Glory" is one of the many films that fits this scenario in my life. Over 20 years since it's release, I have seen probably 99 percent of the entire film in different pieces.

Last night, I saw it in its entirety, straight through in order.

And it sucked.

I have many opinions about race that might sound insensitive or ignorant. Although I love people of all colors, creeds, ethnicities and religions, the idea of "equality" sounds and is different to everyone.

Starting around the time of "Glory" a shift took place where the pendulum of how we considered race and racism shifted -- not to the middle where everyone is on an even keel and we try to move forward, but all the way to an overly sensitive political correctness that tried to make up for 300 years of slavery, hate, segregation and violence that pockmarked the United States and still does.

The thing about pockmarks -- if you had bad acne as a teenager -- is that they never go away. No matter if we make a movie about black soldiers in the Civil War starring Denzel Washington or force Matthew Broderick to grow a moustache or record a boy's choir for the music, it will never make up for the actual time period "Glory" portrays. Nothing we can make, no story to be told, no apologies or good gestures will never make up for that. I believe we can only move forward smarter and kinder.

So force feed me African American stereotypes -- the angry, vengeful guy (Washington), the wise, understanding older guy (Morgan Freeman), the intelligent, conflicted "Uncle Tom" (Andre Braugher) and the ignorant, stuttering well-meaning hick (a dude that doesn't even act anymore).

And it's not like these characters are well executed. Washington won an Oscar for this. I can name you a dozen other Washington roles that were better. Broderick is stuffy, off balance and stunted. Freeman is solid, but he can not carry an entire film.

Then there's the corny parts. Washington's tear rolling down his cheek when being whipped. The slow clap as the regiment goes off to fight the final battle (ah, the start of the U.S. Army's role in using black guys as cannon fodder). The stuttering guy give a half-assed prayer during which a contrived "Negro" spiritual is being sung.

This movie made me sick to my stomach.

'Sleeper'

"I'm not really the heroic type. I was beat up by Quakers."

I don't dig the physical comedy of Woody Allen. I'd much prefer to listen to a irritated Allen rant and rave about his own insecurities and inabilities as a human being.

It's good to know that Allen can exist in modern times in addition to 200 years into the future.

Still makes me sick that Allen's characters can still bag a piece like Diane Keaton. I mean, I get why Allen the filmmaker can get Keaton, but it makes zero sense that Allen's characters can get her. It pumps up the confidence of geeks, unsociables and retards entirely too much.

'The Umbrellas of Cherbourg'

It took a little while for me to ask myself: "So, are they going to sing the entire movie?"

The answer: Yes.

The film actually lags for a little bit at the beginning but I thought the final 30 minutes or so were excellent story telling. I'm sure there's some deep message buried somewhere in there and without a doubt umbrellas are some kind of symbol (maybe, you never know when fate's going to rain shit on you ... so you might as well have an umbrella ... or a rich guy to marry).

'Sherman's March'

So, in the middle of "Sherman's March," the filmmaker Ross McElwee captures a Southern woman around 1981 discussing the Civil War. During this little diatribe, the woman states that slavery, in essence, should be voluntary.

She notes: If a person wants to be a slave, then they should be allowed to.

Hmm. Where does the "I want to be a slave!" line start? Also, the term "slave" pretty much reeks of involuntary labor and subservience.

Why wasn't a two-and-a-half hour documentary made about this woman?

****
Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Basically, McElwee wants to make a documentary about General William Sherman's "March to the Sea" -- a campaign that devastated the South during the American Civil War. Instead, he gets dumped days before starting and decides (or maybe the spirit of the film decided for him) to instead document the lives, attitudes and feelings surrounding love and relationships in the American South in the early 1980s.

What's most fascinating as McElwee visits former loves, girls he's being set up with and chicks he meets along Sherman's path toward Columbia, South Carolina, is the fact that we, the viewer, have no idea the state, length or any real details about what's going on.

Was McElwee essentially shacking up with these chicks? Making babies? Was it purely platonic the entire time? How involved was he in these girls' lives? How the hell did he come upon girl after girl that wanted anything to do with him only for him to eventually leave? How long were these trysts? Weeks? Months? Days?

We don't know any of these details. So that makes McElwee either a cad or extremely inept toward relating to womankind.

'King of Comedy'

Still loving all the of the Martin Scorsese (I can finally spell his name correctly) films. This is also probably Robert DeNiro's best performance I've seen. Just edging out "Taxi Driver" and "Godfather II."

I also love the talk nowadays of how people are disillusioned about celebrity and getting famous. That you just "get discovered" and make it without putting your time in.

Well, it's obvious that it existed 20 years ago and probably was going on 100 years ago. It's the "American Idol" experience before "Idol" even existed.

And if you need any other proof that Jerry Lewis is greatness, then watch this movie.

'Licensed to Ill'

I've never been a Beastie Boys fan, which is odd because I'm both white, scared of black people and generally like rap and hip-hop music.

Mostly I dislike them is because they're basically talking alternately in a sing-songy voice. Sometimes doing it over each other.

It's neat, but not exactly groundbreaking or anything.

Basically, "Licensed to Ill" is a soundtrack to the life of every dickhead and frat boy. Christ. "No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn," "Fight For Your Right," "Brass Monkey" and "Paul Revere."

In fact, I might hate the Beasties more today than I did yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow.

'Beauty and the Beat'

My consciousness of The Go-Gos has three different phases.

As a child, I thought The Go-Gos were incredibly catchy (as well as the Bangles) and I loved them. My earliest memories of music come from 1980s pop radio and me thinking it was the most amazing sounding thing ever.

The second phase came in high school and college after I watched the "Behind the Music" of The Go-Gos and I realized they were all sluts and it drove me crazy because I would've been such a hardcore groupie.

The third phase is taking place right now. I saw "Beauty and the Beat" at the record store for a silly low price so I picked it up. I love it. I've played it probably a dozen times in two weeks. It's punky, fun, incredibly melodic and energetic has all hell.

'Red Dirt Girl'

I just imagine the ghost of Gram Parsons coming down from heaven or hell and thanking his former lover, Emmylou Harris, for the shitty adult contemporary album.

This album sucks.